New Year’s Eve

Saitaoha on the last day of 2018. May you be in the pink of health and continue to grow up happy, strong and bright. I hope you enjoy your new school, have lots of fun and learn at the same time.

Saitaomei on the last day of 2018. I hope in the new year you will continue to eat well, be strong, healthy and happy. I also hope you adjust to daycare well in 2019.

I almost didn’t dare to read my 2018 resolutions because I knew I failed badly in so many fronts. I was definitely not more positive (I swear I really tried but circumstances were dire), my health was at an all time low because I didn’t take care of myself and I stressed so much! My health, relationships and career all took a nose dive in 2018. Sure I lost weight in the end but it wasn’t due to exercise or diet but due to ill health 😭.

But I had my family with me. I managed to go home to Kuching several times with the kids. We settled into our home and finally did up the playroom for the kids (still far from finished though, R has such grand plans 😅). My parents settled in their new home, they are a stone’s throw away and really, life is so much better with ah pa and ah ma as neighbours. And who can forget the kids? My daughters are growing up happy and healthy, they are so loved and protected, I couldn’t ask for more could I?

In 2019, I want to build up my confidence, health and strength again. Maybe it’s something as easy as going for a swim once a week, or getting regular haircuts, buying clothes that fit and look good. I need to take care of myself, physically and mentally, if I want to take care of others.

I would like to go on holidays, one with just the husband, one with the family. That’s my aim.

I would like to kick my social media habit, in particular dayre. I don’t mind the writing as it doesn’t take much time. But I have to stop surfing, have real conversations instead of reading about other people’s online conversations. Put down the phone and talk/play to the kids, the husband. I really need to work on this one.

Hopefully I can learn to manage stress better in 2019. I need to stop worrying about everything and everyone. After such a tough year, I just pray and wish the new year will be kinder on me and my loved ones.

And on that note, here’s wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

Takoyaki birthday

Impromptu dim sum brunch with my family. I love dim sum, I think because I’m greedy and I get to eat lots of different things in small portions haha. The egg tart was so good I wish I bought some home!

This girl enjoyed her dim sum session very much! Stuffing her mouth with bao and wiggling her legs in joy. She’s so easy to bring out…

In contrast to this one who was so naughty. Didn’t eat properly and didn’t want to stay in her high chair. I had to bring her out of the restaurant to scold her but she still acted up at home. Sigh.

New oven at ah ma’s house! Her old compact oven went kaput after Saitaomei’s birthday party. I didn’t want to get it fixed because that particular French brand is super hard to fix (we experienced this with the coffee machine) so we got a brand new big one instead. Looking forward to try it out!

It’s my sister’s birthday today and we went over to crash her takoyaki party. She received a Bruno pan for her birthday and we got to try it straight away.

BIL ladling on the batter which is really easy to make.

Hehe so many helpers. It wasn’t easy and we didn’t get it perfect but it was so fun! I want to do it again. I also have a takoyaki pan which R bought for my bday maybe 2 years ago? It’s not as handy as a Bruno but I’m longing to crack it open now.

Looks quite legit right? We were hiding the ugly sides 😂.

So yummy when fresh and piping hot though. Saitaoha liked it a lot too.

Then the kids had a song and dance session, really enjoyed themselves. We also had birthday cake which was a nice end to the night.

See Saitaomei was very pleased! Also because she ate loads of birthday cake 😅.

A lovely night, I hope my sister had a nice birthday and all her birthday wishes come true!

曾经拥有

Mei mei peeked in to see what I was doing (lying down with my ice pack). Decided I was boring and trundled out to play with jeje and papa.

I went out for a social outing with my fav ex colleagues today! The last time I went out with friends was… two months ago or more? It felt so good and it was so nice to see them, laugh and catch up after so long apart. We used to sit next to each other and spent our most busy work years together. We agreed that our workload and hours were crazy but it was also the best of times because we loved working together as a team and there was so much job satisfaction. I still miss working with them everyday.

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有 right?

I’m thankful I reached the peak of my career with them and was so lucky to have such great team members.

Christmas 2018

It’s almost the end of a fun but tiring Christmas Day. I probably overdid it with the cooking and two sick kids so I’m lying down with an ice pack now 😬.

My Christmas breakfast was a very unglamorous Nutella on toast and coffee made by the husband. It was nice hanging out at home with the kids and husband even though I was a bit sian that the kids are still unwell.

Saitaoha is really loving Christmas and the unwrapping of presents. She’s been so spoilt this Christmas, her presents are all so lovely and ginormous! Papa has been busy installing all her toys 😅.

Jo was so nice to invite us over for brunch. It’s so nice when someone else is cooking for a change and they’re always such good hosts. Of course Saitaoha had so much fun with her cousin, I think she wants Christmas to never end.

Malaysian Christmas dinner of bak kut teh, loh bak, vegetarian curry, ngo hiang, stir fried sweet potato leaves. I thought everything was quite delicious, but I think I just like home cooked food with the family. Everyone seemed to enjoy dinner, we had chocolate cake and durian cheesecake did dessert afterwards *burp*.

The kids had fun playing with their Christmas presents and afterwards we were dancing and singing Christmas songs. A memorable Christmas of the best sort, filled with good food, loved ones and lots of joy.

Christmas Eve

Saitaomei in her festive Christmas dress.

We went to my uncle’s place for his annual Christmas gathering. I think everyone had a nice time and it was nice that ah pa could catch up with his brother and get to know his brother’s friends. In all my years in Perth, I saw my uncle maybe once a year? We were never close. But now that my parents are here, I see my uncle a lot more! He has been very good to my parents and has eagerly introduced my parents to his community and church. For that, I am thankful.

What is this mummy? I’ve never sat on grass before!

My kids aren’t well and I think Saitaomei may have caught the tail end of Saitaoha’s bugs. She was quite upset throughout the party and clung on to us.

Get better soon my darlings.

Saitaoha’s Christmas present from yee yee is so pretty! This yee yee really spoils her, no wonder my daughter loves her so much and is always asking to see yee yee.

The spoilt child who is delighted with her new toy. R and I don’t really buy toys for her because her grandparents and yee yees buy her lots of toys!

Small kid big present.

Earlier in the day Saitaoha had lots of fun attending Tristan’s fairy themed birthday party. I didn’t bring Saitaomei because of logistics issues and I’m glad I didn’t because she wouldn’t have enjoyed it, Saitaoha was the youngest there and was so blur most of the time haha.

Being the youngest didn’t stop her from having fun though! She’s really lucky in that her older cousins took such good care of her. It was actually really sweet and heartwarming to watch. Even though she squabbles with Tristan all the time, it was so cute to hear him proudly introduce his cousins to his friends. He even mentioned Saitaomei even though she wasn’t there haha.

The kids at the party.

Then there was more fun for the kids at our neighbourhood Christmas Street activity. Small scale but fun for the kids all the same.

Times like these I’m not looking forward to returning to work at all!

冬至快乐

Tang yuan to celebrate 冬至. I like traditions like that and am happy I got to eat tang yuan, I had too many though, had to finish the leftovers because I cooked too many.

It was a searingly hot day. Somehow that’s what I remember of Australian Christmas weather, always hot with a day or two of high 30s-40s.

Saitaoha is down with a cold again, I think it’s the air con, but yet it’s too hot to not switch it on? Sigh I hope it’s just a mild one and she recovers speedily, I don’t want her to miss out on the Christmas festivities!

Ok back to my ice pack again, leg is annoyingly stiff today.

Lucky grandchildren

Saitaomei had her one year old immunisation jabs today. Three of them, poor thing. She wailed and flinched at each jab, my poor ah pa who volunteered to hold her whilst each jab was administered, winced visibly at each jab too. When I recounted the story to ah ma, she laughed and told me that ah pa never accompanied her to any of our immunisation jabs or check ups when we were kids. That’s how lucky my kids and I are.

With R’s job nature and his workaholic nature, I went to a lot of Saitaoha’s checkups and immunisation jabs by myself. I disliked these appointments because it meant a lot of stressing and planning on my part. I wasn’t and am still not the most confident driver and hated getting to and fro these appointments.

My life turned for the better when my parents arrived. Ah pa drove me and accompanied me to so many of these check ups. I remember sometimes ah ma would come along too and I was so relaxed when they were around.

With my poor health these past couple of years, ah pa also drove me to many of my medical appointments. Most of the time he would stay with me but lately with the frequency of my appointments, I asked him to go home first and pick me up later.

This driving back and forth is not something I take for granted. My dear ah pa is not a very confident driver on foreign roads but he will always offer to drive me everywhere as long as it’s for us.

I just sometimes weigh myself down with guilt because I worry about being such a burden to my parents. I am better but I’m far from 100%. I am never in comfort but I thank heavens that at least I’m no longer in agonising pain. I am so impatient to get well because I want to take some of the load of my parents, I want them to stop worrying for me, I want to stop worrying about them. It’s such a vicious cycle isn’t it ?

Sometimes I wish my kids would hurry go up so they can be more independent and self sufficient. But today whilst putting Saitaomei to bed, I realised that for quite some time, she no longer wants to be cradled and rocked to sleep. I felt a huge pang of loss and knew instantly that my baby was no longer a baby.

It almost makes you want to have another baby, just to have another baby again. But I know my parents wouldn’t survive supporting another grandchild and I probably can’t survive without their support too. So that thought is smothered and hopefully won’t surface again.

Tristan is 6

My nephew is six years old today! I believe he had a fantastic birthday as his doting mummy took the day off to bring him out for a day of fun.

They ended the day at my parents’ house where we all had yummy takeaway pizza, Korean fried chicken and birthday cake of course.

I didn’t take any pictures because I was helping my sister to man her camera.

But here is one of a determined looking Saitaomei who was really eyeing the birthday cake.

Of course she had a bite or two! Tamchiak baby. She’s always hovering around my ah pa’s legs when he’s cutting fruit, hoping to get a bite. She needn’t worry because flying Gung Gung will have prepared her bite size pieces of fruit. My kids have the best lives really.

So no pictures of birthday boy, but heres wishing the little boy the best of health and an abundance of happiness :).

The baby sleeps

The baby is finally asleep, hopefully for the night. Earlier she tossed and turned, giggled and whined, flopping around like a sleepy drunkard. I’ve actually missed this scene, it’s been almost two weeks since this girl has slept with me at night. A very very long two weeks made longer because there were days when I lay immobile in bed, wondering whether I would ever walk again, whether life would ever be normal again.

Thankfully, I’m slowly making my way back there. Today is another milestone because I can put Saitaomei to bed again. I can stop worrying that my parents are not getting enough sleep and rest.

In the weeks where it felt like life had come to a halt, Saitaomei started walking with confidence. She is now traipsing all over the place and it’s so cute to watch.

My fairy princess who is mighty pleased with the wings she scored from yee yee. She is very excited because it’s her favourite Tristan Koko’s birthday tomorrow. She keeps practising on us and saying happy birthday 🎁. Just like that, my dearest nephew is 6 years old. Time really flies. The little baby that I carried in my arms is now a grown up little boy, my baby is now walking. Life is so sweet but so short.

I feel like I’ve been given a lifeline to appreciate everyone and everything around me. Despite much apprehension, I braved it to the shopping centre today with both kids in tow. It turned out to be a very pleasant excursion and even R commented that I lasted very long and walked a lot. I enjoyed being with my family so much, dinner at Pepper lunch was also a joy.

This one had a taste of icecream 😅.

I think she’s a fan.

Thankful for a lovely Sunday. It’s so nice to have my baby sleeping next to me again. As I kissed her tummy and she burst into giggles, I felt so happy to be alive and so thankful for my kids and my family.