My girls ready to party on Saturday. They were delighted waiting for their best friend’s mum to pick them up, as I took this picture of them, I thought to myself ‘when did they get so long and lean?’ They’re definitely out of the cute little girls phase now ๐, there will come a day when I’m no longer their favourite person to hang out with, I don’t look forward to that day.
Then there will come a day when I hopefully because their favourite people to hang out with again! Just like how I love hanging out with my parents. While the girls were out partying, we went for a spot of shopping where Ah pa scored some new shoes and then we had an Aussie brunch at a friend’s cafe. Ah ma and I then headed off to grocery shop and we had a nice couple of hours gossiping and chatting.
Another memorable meal at our Korean friend’s house, we spent so many hours there that lunch turned into dinner ๐. They are such gracious hosts and I wish I could return the favour but my house is just so not host friendly sigh.
R bought me a pair of in-line skates so I’m going to hand to learn how to skate pretty soon! It’s a pity our weekends are so packed, going for an activity means skipping out on lessons, or lunch bento making time. I wish weekends were longer! A three day weekend would be perfect right ?
These oodies used to dwarf them, now I’m looking at Saitaoha and thinking how come it’s so short ? Do I have to get her an adult oodie soon?
Dinner at my sister’s followed by dessert of Super Ring ๐, only fellow Malaysians would understand the cheesy fingers as a result of Super Ring. Speaking of Malaysia, we’ve booked our holiday to Malaysia in July, we will be spending some time in KL and Genting, a place I haven’t been for decades, I wonder whether we will enjoy it? I think we will, we always have fun when we are together, whether it’s going to the park or travelling overseas together. July feels far away but I’m counting down already.
Wow I didn’t realise that I haven’t updated my WordPress for months! I think this is because I’ve been writing in my journal and every now and then Dayre so it feels silly to be writing entries so many times.
Found this in my photo gallery last night, my silly girl took over my phone and took a series of selfies. This photo is very Saitaomei, cheerful, funny and full of beans.
And this photo is very Saitaoha, quiet and sensitive.
A rare night out when my parents were cajoled by their grandchildren to go for a coffee at night ! I hope they enjoyed their icecream and a night out. I love impromptu outings like these that bring us so much joy.
Girls finally made it to the office with me after a bout of illnesses. I think they really enjoyed the day in the office, Saitaomei was so disappointed when I told her we weren’t going back the next day.
Our Easter staycation in the city, I think the kids had fun but it was marred by my sickness. I am so sick of being sick.
They want to be artists when they grow up. I may be biased but I do love their artwork!
So much fun when the cousins are together. Their swimming has improved a lot.
My indulgent parents who bought this expensive jungle gym set for their grandchildren. I hope they love it for many years to come.
I think this was a visit to papa’s dental clinic!
After what felt like a long day at work, I wasn’t keen to meet up with my ex best work friends for drinks after work. But I dragged myself along because these are some of my favourite people outside of my family. As we were laughing and talking about the anecdotes of our heaven and hell days of working together, I was glad that I decided to go after all. It’s a reminder that no matter how tiring work is, it will never be those hellish days again. Also a reminder that I have really really good people around me, and there’s so much to life besides work. I am lucky and blessed beyond words.
Mummy has been thinking about how it doesn’t feel that long ago when I set eyes on you for the first time. You looked at me with your round beautiful eyes unblinking, I whispered ‘Hi Saitaoha, it’s mummy’.
8 beautiful years, you’ve brought us so much joy and happiness.
You are a great sister, a sensitive, kind child, lacking in confidence, but with an abundance of courage and determination. I hope you continue to grow up to be a kind, compassionate and caring child. I hope you always feel loved and cared for, we love you very much Saitaoha!
Best Chinese New Year in Perth hands down. I’m not sure why it felt so special this year, the lion dance and reunion dinner was especially lovely and I enjoyed it so much.
Could it be because my brother, Pegs and Theo were in town? Very possible.
We even had ๆๅนด at my house, it was fun!
We celebrated Ah pa’s birthday ๐. May he be happy and healthy always. I want to celebrate many many more birthdays with Ah pa.
I appreciated my brother trying to spend quality time with each kid and his siblings. The girls really loved having them around.
The kids being walked to school by jiu jiu,jiu mu and Theo during their last day in Perth sigh. Time flies when you’re having fun.
Haha look at that cutie and my cuties.
Sigh I miss them. Why is US so far away?
This little girl was chuffed with her merit award from school.
Saitaoha’s best friend’s parents cooked us this delicious korean feast. We felt so spoilt and need to return the favour soon. It was really very lovely !
Saitaoha’s birthday treat was ice skating with her bestie.
I hope they stay best friends for a long long time.
Dragon year started off really well with a visit from my brother and family, let’s hope it ends great as well and we all ้พๅนด่กๅคง่ฟ๏ผ
The three girl cousins. May they continue to be close and grow up together happily.
My brother made up pizzas for Sunday dinner. They were very good! It’s nice to see that he has an interest in cooking and baking, a man after my own heart haha. The weekends are flying by too quickly, sigh can’t believe they will be flying off again soon.
This little sweetie has captured everyone’s heart, he is such a sweetheart, chill, calm and curious baby. He has the loveliest smile, sigh I wish they lived nearer so we could see them more often.
I don’t even have much pictures of him because most of the time I’m focusing on talking or playing with him. Which is the way it should be I guess. I wonder whether we will see more of him when he grows up, sigh I’m not sure about that. They really should introduce travel machines that travel at the speed of light by now.
It’s week 3 in the new role. I can’t wait to start feeling more comfortable and familiar in this portfolio, I don’t think it will take very long, but in the meantime it’s not fun not being in the know.
Meetings after meetings this week. The introvert in me is sighing and already looking forward to the next weekend! I wish I was more of an extrovert and could feed off the energy of others.
Perth’s weather is driving us mad as well, heatwave after heatwave. I don’t think we suffer as much since we’re in the office most of the time, but I feel so bad for my parents and the kids during school pick ups and drop offs.
Somehow it feels like this year may go by very quickly.
My baby girl is now a primary school kid! Ahhh time really flies.
I am sure they were delighted that their jiu jiu and jiu mu accompanied them to school with baby Theo in tow!
Our birthdays ๐ฅณ. Friends asked why did I go to work on my birthday, well my niece had to go to her first day of high school on her birthday, we all have our jobs to do. And for me, any birthday after 30 is a bit of a drag, I’m just gradually growing into a fossil.
But it’s still a lovely day because I get birthday wishes from friends and family that are closest to my heart. Honestly they are people I love and care about the most, and on my birthday, I’m reminded that they love and care for me too. What else can I ask for?
First week down, how many more to go? Hopefully the rest of the year will fly by just like this first week. It’s nice to be busy but not crazy hectic, it’s fun to be challenged and stimulated and to try to find solutions to problems. It’s fun to be learning new things and broadening my horizon. So overall it was a great first week at work! Of course I am looking forward to the day when I’m no longer ‘learning’ and can become the teacher , feels like that might be quite some time away sigh.
But it’s a good team, lovely team members, and I’m also grateful to have great leaders and mentors.
School holidays are almost over! I think the girls had an eventful one with the highlight being our Singapore trip and their Malaysian one. It also feels really long ago now, not sure when we will can go for another holiday again ๐ญ
Baby Theo is coming tomorrow!! I hope he loves us, I know we already love him.
My big girls who already help with housework and spring cleaning. It’s nice that we get to spend Chinese new year together as a family.
Covid for the family to end what was a pretty disastrous 2023. Ah pa and R are still showing Covid symptoms which isn’t good, luckily Ah pa seems to be on the mend, I’m always so worried about his health, both physical and mental.
They love going to Dome’s for brunch and lunch and every meal I think haha. I like indulging them as well, we are eating out a bit more often lately, well why not I ask myself. What’s the point of earning money if not to spend money?
My love for kimbap in unwaning. I could eat this everyday I think, hmm just looking at this picture reminds me that I should make more.
I love this picture by Saitaoha. I think she is so good at drawing, probably bias but isn’t this picture too cute for words haha.
A work trip to Port Hedland. It’s so weird to think the last time I visited was under such different context and circumstances. I can’t deny I’m nervous that I will struggle in such an unknown territory, but I’m also excited to learn more. I told my boss today ‘ I think 2024 is the year I will find out whether I sink or swim’. She looked at me earnestly and said ‘you will swim!!! Trust me!’ And just like that, I believed her. I am a first follower to the tilt, if my leader thinks I can swim, I will swim.
This little girl finally pierced her ears because she felt ‘ready for it’.
She usually cries during injections so I was surprised that she didn’t shed a tear! I guess because she was ready for it she had steadied her nerves.
She was mighty pleased with her pierced ears. I am so glad she did it without a fuss and was so brave about it all. Looking forward to earring shopping with my girls in the future!
Ah pa picked me up from the supermarket again, I’m always reminded how lucky I am to have parents that are so supportive and selfless. I always enjoy our little chats in the car, most of the time we always chat about the kids, sometimes Ah pa will impart advice, sometimes I tell him about what’s happening at work.
Today he told me to not worry all the time about them being exhausted from looking after the kids (I know they are). He said that the days go by quickly when they are there and said ‘ๆ้ชๅฅนไปฌ้ฟๅคง๏ผๅฅนไปฌ้ชๆ่’. Yesterday I was thinking how we are actually living our best days because all three generations are alive and together. I can’t bear the thought of the day when we will be apart ๐ข and this sometimes keeps me awake at night.
I’ve been thinking about what to write for my final 2023 post. Many times I think about feelings, emotions and thoughts that I want to chronicle and capture, but WordPress is a bit of a hassle, Dayre is too public a platform, and I end up losing my thoughts.
It’s been a challenging year of ups and downs. This is why I’ve kept this blog for so many years, because reading my past posts helps me to reflect on my past and allows me to be honest with myself.
It was probably inevitable that we would end 2023 with a family bout of Covid. R and Saitaoha caught it for the first time, thankfully the symptoms are not extreme but I am still keeping a close watch on a feverish Saitaoha. Saitaomei has finally tested negative and has been full of beans throughout the whole illness. But it is not how I wanted our last days of holiday to end, housebound and miserable.
I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m so grumpy and miserable about this year. Having looked back at my 2023 posts, I definitely had lots of great staycations, we even went for three holidays, Melbourne, Adelaide and Singapore. I think I stayed true to my 2023 motto of ‘work hard and play hard’.
Work was perhaps the most volatile and disappointing through happenings that were out of anyone’s control. I will jot it down to bad luck, bad timing and incompetence within the sector. Too bad my friends and I were pulled into this whole farce. It has knocked my confidence in myself which wasn’t already high, I feel like I’m suffering from imposter syndrome and constantly waiting for someone to catch me out. I really don’t know what 2024 will bring, it is all up in the air and all up to me I guess, I need to grit my teeth and give it all. I just hope that I have the courage and tenacity to hold on, most importantly, I would like to reignite my passion at work and find my beings again.
What has been bugging me is my general sense of negativity, have I always been a negative person and was unaware, or have I developed this negative mindset due to recent circumstances ? 2023 was great at some points, but was overall a pretty bad year, especially health wise for the family and myself, and also with the passing of my dear friend, the horrendous sale of our family home and the death of my past four years of work.
I think the best part of 2023 was being able to have more time with the kids, to go on holidays and to plan for holidays and special activities like staycations and birthday parties. I was also able to spend more time with Saitaoha on her schoolwork, something that I’ve neglected over the past few years.
For 2024, I really want to work on building my confidence and my positivity. I don’t want to be a negative Nelly and someone who is living life worrying about the next bad thing around the corner , I want to learn to deal with my anxiety about work, kids and especially my parents. I feel like this is something that has really sky rocketed this year, I am always living in a state of fear and anxiety about my parents and I don’t know how to rein it in.
This deep sense of self loathing is also something I need to work on in 2024. How I’m going to get out of this slump, I don’t quite know, but I really need a kick in the guts. As it is, I really don’t feel like talking to anyone, meeting friends or family at the moment, most of the time when people ask me out, I’m thinking hard for an excuse not to go. When will I want to meet people again I don’t know ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ .
Sigh it really went downhill for 2023 didn’t it? Truly praying for a better 2024 and a much more positive outlook and mindset in the new year.
It started out as my parents flying back to Kuching for my cousin’s wedding and the thought popped up that maybe the kids could go with them for a holiday. Then suddenly we decided to book a Singapore leg for them and then I suddenly decided to join them for the Singapore trip. The best kind of impromptu decisions that lead to the best memories.
So happy to be on the plane with her elf and xiu xiu. She was also pleased to be seated next to me.
The little one didn’t mind not sitting next to me because she was with her Gung Gung. I still felt anxious throughout the flight and kept watching my father for signs of discomfort. I honestly wish I could just buy business class tickets for him for every flight. Sigh I’ll have to work harder at work.
Back at Hotel Jen, we landed 11 plus and it was almost midnight when we reached the hotel. The kids were still in good spirits though and we even ventured down to Donki Donki for midnight shopping! How I wish we could transport to the start of the holidays again.
The girls love the robots Jeno and Jeni, we asked for extra towels on our first night and Jeno delivered it to our room, they were delighted.
My parents recreating their photo from 4 years ago? I’m so glad they seemed to enjoy the pool a lot this time, we went almost every single day and made the most of it.
The cousins making hand stands in the pool. Pool time was their favourite activity everyday and we really had lots of fun.
Gung Gung pretending to be Merlion. It made me fear the day when he can’t carry mei on his shoulders anymore. I’m treasuring this memory so much.
My two water girls. I’m happy that they love the water as much as I do. I think swimming was also one of my favourite activities this holiday, it felt like such a luxury and pleasure to be able to swim everyday.
Buffet at Colony, Ritz Carlton was very beautiful !
My favourite part of the buffet, ondeh ondeh was very good, I wished I had space for more food.
Kids had lots of fun at the art science museum.
It was very beautiful, but my feet were killing me because I shopped/walked too much the day before haha.
I finally had my holiday drink of Starbucks matcha Frappuccino and it was very good!
Toastbox breakfast of kaya toast and soft boiled eggs we had twice through the trip. It wasn’t as good as I remember but I still enjoyed it.
My favourite meal was probably Mos burger which I had for a very late dinner. It was so good we had it twice during the trip.
I was excited to see chwee kueh but it wasn’t very good.
We had lots of Japanese food this holiday, all were so-so and nothing to shout about. I think next time I will do better research and book a Japanese buffet with good quality sashimi instead.
We went for night time swimming, and then headed down for icecream straight after, the chrysanthemum icecream I had was so refreshing and delicious.
Another Toastbox breakfast when we really wanted Yakun. It’s a pity it is always so crowded in Singapore, I feel like I spent most of my time in the queue.
Their new stuffies ๐ . I think both of them had the best time because papa wasn’t there to set the rules and I pretty much let them do whatever they wanted because ‘holiday’ . It was relaxing for me too to not be so rigid and insisting on them finishing their meals etc
I finally bought my bag, or I should say R bought it for me since he sponsored my Christmas gift to myself . I hope it will become something that I cherish for a long time to come .
Last meal at the airport, we finally had Yakun and it was average. I was still happy though, to have a last cup of local kopi before our flight. I was already suffering from post holiday blues at this point. Our holiday felt too short and too brief. It was exhilarating not thinking about work, not checking my work emails, just spending time with my family , walking a lot and getting lost on my own. Every moment was liberating and I enjoyed every bit of my freedom.
Going home, R surprised me with a steak dinner that he cooked himself, something he hasn’t done for years. I appreciated his efforts and I’m glad we are ending 2023 in a good place marriage wise.
A brief but wonderful holiday, one that I know won’t be easy to come by again so I am extra appreciative. I’m glad I have this blog to capture the memories.
daitaoha 