It’s almost the end of 2015! What a year it has been, for some reason, it feels like this year has dragged out for a long time. My 2015 was spilt between pre pregnancy and post pregnancy. The year didn’t start out too well, even though I was in my beloved Kuching, my brother was hospitalised at the start of the new year with a serious condition. It was very worrying but I’m glad things turned out alright by the end of the year. It feels like my family has been plagued with health problems all year, the kids and adults were falling ill quite a bit, Jan, my brother and myself all had bouts in the hospital. It really wasn’t the best for us in terms of health. But I think the main thing is we all got well in the end and supported each other throughout the tough times.
The first half of the year was very busy at work. Haha, but it’s busy every year right? I felt like I was comfortable at work though, as in more confident and at ease, after three years in the role, I have been conditioned to be in ‘war’ mode all the time. I did get angry with myself at the start of the pregnancy because I was missing my blood tests because I put work first. It wasn’t till the amnio test that I realised what I was putting at risk (sorry Saitaoha) and changed my priorities. I am now much better at taking time off work when I need to, not checking my work emails after hours, and generally letting go. It has been tougher on my team because I expect them to step up when I’m not there, but I also know they can do it and know that I’ve been very lucky in having a great and trustworthy team. There has been a lot of upheavals at work, my immediate boss finally broke down and decided not to continue on in her role. She actually gave up a very senior role and high pay to relegate to a lower position with less responsibilities. It was a tough decision for her to make but I’m glad she did because I saw her burning out day by day. Part of me saw myself in her but I’m glad that I never let myself get there and will never let myself get into that position in the future.
Being good and responsible at my job is very important to me, I hope this is a trait that I will keep with me forever. But I also realise that it should not be the be all and end all. I will work hard at being a good mother and wife as well. It will probably be a million times harder than my job, but possibly a million times more enjoyable and rewarding too.
I’m glad that despite the hectic schedule at work, I managed to have lots of fun this year too. Our camping trips were such fun experiences and I surprise myself by saying that I will miss it. There’s something magical about sleeping overnight in tents, waking up to the sound of birds chirping and being with friends and family. Hopefully it won’t be too long before we can go camping again with Saitaoha in tow! I also visited Sydney a couple of times with R and enjoyed each trip. I loved catching up with Jason where we had our matcha latte D&Ms (deep and meaningful haha), discovering new eats and shopping with R, and generally enjoying couple time with R.
My favourite holiday was still my short trip to Singapore in April where I met up with my parents. It was simple things like my father teaching us taichi, going supper hunting with Jo, our nightime walks at the TP hub, tucking into hawker centre fare with my family. It was the same when my parents visited Perth in October, I only wish Jan and I were feeling better then, it was our post operation days but our parents tendered to all our needs as if we were children again.
Pregnancy wise, it wasn’t all smooth sailing but I’ve blogged about this before. I have about 50 days to go before my estimated due date, it feels closer and closer, baby is also very active nowadays making it difficult to sleep but I don’t mind. I didn’t enjoy feeling worried and out of control health and weight wise but I guess that comes part and parcel with pregnancy. Most of the time I tried not to stress too much and take things a day at a time. R was his usual silent self, not being overly dramatic or emotional about anything, but he was supportive in every way possible. We managed to have lots of laughs during the good and bad days which I hope will continue in the days and years to come.
Next year will be exciting and challenging! I don’t know what motherhood will be like or how R and I will fare as parents. I hope not too bad lah! I also wonder what it will be like to not be working, I’ve worked for so long I’m not sure how to feel without a job for 9 months (I might enjoy it too much hehe). Deep down I think we will turn out ok and it will be a magical experience watching Saitaoha grow up. My 2016 resolutions are quite simple, I am going to try my best at being a good mother and wife, I also want to have a happy and healthy lifestyle and hopefully go back to looking and feeling normal again. Wish me luck!
daitaoha 