Archive for the 'Daitaoha Blablablas' Category

Big week

I started this post on Friday and never got around to finishing it. The weekend flew by in a blur even though we didn’t do much and mostly pottered around at home. I was sad when Sunday rolled around and I thought it was still Saturday, that moment of realisation was πŸ˜žπŸ˜”πŸ˜•. It’s been a long time since I last felt physically exhausted from work. Mentally exhausted yes, the office politics and the struggle of work-family life guilt has always been mentally taxing. But physically exhausting from the long hours, lack of sleep and working during the weekend has been a first for a while. It’s not too bad, it just means there’s lots of work to power through and I need to get more efficient and productive at work when I’m actually at the desk. I probably could and should cut my news surfing habit but it’s an occupational habit I picked up in my previous line of work and have kept ever since.

Ah pa packed me a giant box of fruit today to share with my colleagues. They already think he’s a sweetheart because of my fruit boxes which I share with them when they drop by the desk. The sheer size of this fruitbox will blow them away.

It’s another big week ahead. These big weeks will be never ending for a whole. Saitaoha is also turning 4 on Friday, which means there will be some baking for her classmates, I’m still contemplating whether or not to pack them some goodie bags. I’m not keen on the over consumption of stuff but Saitaoha has a generous soul so I think she would like to celebrate with her friends? Maybe cupcakes will do. She is really excited about her indoor playground party with her cousins, not sure whether it’s considered a party if it’s just 4 kids? She didn’t seem particularly excited about inviting other kids but said her best friends are LG and Tristan. So cute. She also invited mah mah so I think mah mah is still firmly in her best friend category. Sigh my little girl is now 4, how time flies.

I miss my kids when they were small and cuddly but I just admit life is much easier now they are bigger and self sustainable. Enough talking, I’m getting dizzy on the bus. I hope this is a great week!

Losing battle

4.15 am. Saitaomei and I have been up for the past couple of hours shifting from bedroom to bedroom as she makes her way through them, coughing till she pukes out the Panadol I’ve been trying to feed her to get her fever down. It’s a losing battle and I’m running out of clothes to change her into. This is her third set 😭.

Oh why oh why do the gods test me so. I’m just so tired from this holiday it just doesn’t feel like one at all.

Farewell 2019 Hello 2020

I was trying to reflect on my 2019 when I realised that I couldn’t remember anything. Life went by in a blur and I was constantly chasing my tail, my memories are hazy and all I recall is the neverending cycle of the kids and myself being sick and getting well again. This is the reason why I have persisted in keeping a diary or blog of some sorts over the years, even when my brain fails me, my hastily jotted words bring me back my past memories and recollections.

I started this blog in 2009, exactly ten years ago! According to my posts, ten years ago was when I met R which I believe was the turning point and next stage of my life. In 2009 I secured permanency at a position which I then thought was a dream job. It wasn’t the dream job I envisaged but I learned a lot and it was definitely a stepping stone to where I am now in my career.

Fast forward ten years, 2019 was another turning point in my career. I went back to a field that I worked in ten years ago! Only this time it was a hundred times more challenging, not just because of the work context itself, but mostly because of difficult working relationships. Office politics dominated the second half of the year and caused me a lot of angst and grief. I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it and there was the frequent temptation to run away. Luckily I didn’t, instead, I had some of the most difficult work conversations and hard talks of my career. Some were futile but there was also the pivotal moment where I forced my hand and difficult decisions were made. I am not proud of it but I am glad I didn’t back down. 2020 will be the biggest career challenge yet, it’s a make or break year and will define the next stage of my career. However unlike the past decade, work won’t be the dominating factor in my life (I hope!), my family still comes first and that I hope will help keep the stress at bay.

2019 was a really tough year for relationships. Work relationships were tricky and heartwarming at the same time. I enjoyed reconnecting with my old colleagues and working with them again. But some work relationships were challenging and downright horrible. Marriage wise, it’s been ten years since I first met R and we starting going out, six years of marriage. It all sounds very long but if you think about it, it’s not that long in one’s lifespan. You would think after ten years we would have our relationship dynamics down to pat and our marriage would be smooth sailing. The truth is it’s been a rocky couple of years and in 2019 we had some rough patches but also happy moments. I can’t deny that there were days when I tore my hair out and felt our relationship wasn’t worth the trouble or effort. Ten years and I still find it difficult to understand how and why he sometimes acts the way he does, and to be fair, I am sure he struggles with me as well. I wish I could be like other Instagram couples where their values, principles and lifestyles align and all looks peachy and rosy. I wish our marriage was that easy but it’s not. A lot of it is about tolerance, compromise, patience and understanding. With the arrival of kids our social life is pretty much nil, we find it hard to find time to go out on couple dates let alone go out with friends without the kids in tow. But we’ve made some changes to that and are trying to expand our social circle. I truly hope 2020 can be a turning point in our marriage where we can find a comfortable rhythm again.

The kids and their development has been the highlight of the year and I believe that will be the case for me every year. Saitaomei is at her cutest stage and is learning new things everyday. She has a strong and independent personality and is quite different to her sister who is sensitive and clingy. She’s a lot easier to take care of now that she has turned two, it’s less physical but more about mental development now and I will have to pay more attention to her cognitive skills including instilling the right values and morals. Saitaoha had a big year, she started her 3 year old pre kindy at our neighbourhood school and will be continuing with her 4 year old pre kindy in 2020. I am so thankful that she really really loves school and has thrived in the warm and fun learning environment. She makes me laugh all the time with her funny comments and stories. She also constantly surprises me at how thoughtful and sweet she can be. She has it tough in that I constantly expect too much from her as the ‘big sister’, it’s a constant struggle for me to remind myself that she’s only three and a small kid, I shouldn’t be putting all the expectations on her just because she is the older child.

Health wise it’s been a good and bad year. Good in that my prolapsed discs have miraculously regressed, bad in that I probably celebrated too much by not exercising, eating badly and irregularly and therefore succumbing to every minor illness under the sun. My immune system is at an all time low and the kids and I were sick A LOT in 2019, I developed bronchitis for the first time ever and had every viral illness going around the daycare. It really was very depressing because I was constantly worried about the poor sick kids, my parents who also caught our illnesses, I missed work or attended work whilst battling embarrassing coughing fits, the kids had coughing and throwing up sessions and boy did I do a lot of laundry runs in 2019.

I say this every year but really it’s been ten years since I took the plunge and really embarked on a weight loss and exercise lifestyle. Can I please just do it this year? It’s embarrassing but I really need to gain my health back! For myself and for the kids too.

2019 was my year of recovery after the bleak 2018, I made small gains in life and slowly regained some of that lost confidence. There are still days when I trudge into my house and look at the mess and pigsty that I live in and think ‘what the hell am I doing?!’, but I have some hope in regaining some stability from the chaos of mummyhood that I have struggled with post kids. Maybe 2020 will be the year where I find myself and regain confidence to become a better mummy, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Fingers crossed🀞🏻. Happy New Year everyone!

November

What an eventful month it was!

First there was the showdown with the boss and possibly one of the most difficult conversations I’ve had to have in my career. It was worth the risk though and I believe we are moving forward.

And then there was Saitaomei’s birthday which was a fun and lovely affair.

I fell sick and somehow managed to develop bronchitis! First time in my life I’ve had to use a puffer, but the meds worked wonders and I’m feeling much better.

We also watched the U2 concert at the Optus stadium because sis had spare tickets. Noel Gallagher was the opening act and I enjoyed his Oasis classics, but the sound system was so shonky I could hardly hear what the performers were saying or singing all night.

Still it was a nice experience and the stadium was very pretty at times.

The Joshua tree stage was quite impressive too. But we are not U2 fans so hardly knew any of their songs.

We brought the kids to see the Christmas lights in the city. It was a fun night and we all had a great time, especially playing at the free arcade pop up place inside Enex 100. If only the city was this happening and bush everyday!

I’ve been wanting to bring the kids to the Christmas houses at 140.

Hiya cutie!

Dancing with jeje weekend fun.

We didn’t get to open up the bubble toy ah pa bought for the kids during Saitaomei’s birthday so we tried it today instead. It was a hit!

Mei mei was so happy πŸ₯°.

And there goes another month, I’m looking forward to the Christmas holidays already!

Popcorn mei mei

Promised the kids that I would bring them to the playground if the sun had not set by the time they finished dinner. We just about made it! They had a lovely time except Saitaomei didn’t want to leave πŸ˜…

I wanted to prolong our Saturday night out so we went to our neighbourhood cafe for coffee and cake. Saitaomei was delighted with the sudden treat and walloped her snacks with delight.

Work must be pretty dreadful nowadays because I’m already sad that the weekend is almost over and it’s only Saturday night!

Saitaoha constantly amuses me with her funny chatter.

πŸ‘©πŸ»: Saitaoha what do you want to be when you grow up?

πŸ§’πŸ»οΌš what do you mean mummy?

πŸ‘©πŸ»: like what is Papa’s job?

πŸ§’πŸ»: ******* (answers accurately)

πŸ‘©πŸ»: you’re right! So do you want to be a ******* like papa when you grow up?

πŸ§’πŸ»: no! I want to be a princess !

πŸ‘©πŸ»: (alamak πŸ˜…) oh ok, how about mummy?

πŸ§’πŸ»: mummy is a chef!

πŸ‘©πŸ»: hahaha ok ok not bad, I don’t mind being a chef. How about mei mei?

πŸ§’πŸ»: Mei mei is a popcorn!

πŸ‘©πŸ»: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The week that was

You girls light up my life.

Chicken rice Sunday family dinners. I like cooking for the family but I don’t like messing up my mother’s kitchen.

I love Woolies for their free fresh fruit for kids. It’s such a great intiative, Coles tries but isn’t consistent.

My Saitaoha packs a pretty picnic lunch. She is actually really meticulous in her planning and how everything looks and is categorised. Why am I not more like my child?

Saitaomei for Movember challenge?

Friday red wine and red meat nights. We’ve been doing these for a few weeks now and it’s nice to unwind with the husband in anticipation of the weekend ahead.

And hooray the weekend rolls around again!

One year on

I just ordered Saitaomei’s birthday cake for her upcoming birthday party! I am not telling my friends that it’s to celebrate her second birthday but am calling it a gathering instead. I’m hoping they don’t find out, R and I don’t want our friends to buy any presents for the kids, we just want to celebrate Saitaomei with our closed ones.

I’m having fun planning the decorations and food for the party. R asked me how come I’m throwing a party for Saitaomei when I didn’t throw one for Saitaoha’s second or third birthday. I told him it is because I remember how tough it was to plan and prepare for Saitaomei’s first birthday last year. My health was so poorly and I was in so much pain before and after her first birthday. At that time I had taken extended sick leave because I was in so much pain that I couldn’t function at work, I remember having to prep a dish a day, then going back to lie down after every cook. During the day of the party, I took a plethora of drugs to numb the pain and that was how I survived the day. Even then, my mother and siblings had to help out so much, poor ah ma was in so much pain after the party and was thoroughly exhausted. We also broke the oven that day πŸ˜….

It makes me all the more grateful that one year on, I am fully recovered, no longer in pain and well and able to plan for Saitaomei’s party.

So yes, it’s not just a party to celebrate my dear baby’s second birthday but also to celebrate my recovery and thank my loved ones for their care and support throughout the darkest period of my life. That is something worth celebrating right ?


March 2020
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