Archive for the 'Daitaoha Blablablas' Category

Driving to the shops

No venture no gain! Bought myself a bubble tea (I’m not even s bb tea fan but I wanted something to commemorate the event haha) as a reward for driving to the shops with both kids in tow.

To most people, driving to the nearby shops might seem like an easy peasy task, but for someone like me who has a morbid fear of driving, it’s a mammoth task! I was feeling bad about my sister having to help pick up Saitaoha from daycare yesterday. And instead of going over to her place to pick up Saitaoha (already considerably nearer compared to the child care centre), I chose the easy way out and waited for R to return from work before we both went to pick her up. When he was walked in visibly tired after a long day at work, I immediately regretted not driving on my own and making him have to drive out again after coming home. I hated myself for being a burden to my family just because I am a nervy driver.

In my mind I was gearing myself up to go to the shops the next day. But even so, I kept making excuses in my heart e.g. maybe R will drive the car with the car seats to work.

But I did drive out today, it was a quick nip in to Aldi to grab some necessities (and bubble tea). The girls were angels, Saitaoha chose to sit in the stroller and sat in there throughout the shop, Saitaomei was a peach in the baby carrier. Even the cashier helped out by helping me pack my groceries (you have to self pack in Aldi) πŸ˜€.

And best of all, both kids fell asleep on the way home and I made a successful transfer!! I am risking jinxing myself but it feels like a good day already 😁.

***

It was a bit chilly in the morning so I dressed Saitaoha in her new winter robe. She seems to like it a lot, phew, I was a bit worried given her hatred for jackets and coats.

Quiches are great for hiding lots of veggies. This one has asparagus, mushrooms, onions and cherry tomatoes. Saitaoha ate a whole slice by herself for lunch. She’s been eating well lately, thank goodness.

Her treat of Kinder Surprise, she was soooo happy. We took a video to show Mah Mah her egg. She’s been asking me where is Gung Gung Mah Mah, I tell her they’ve gone to work πŸ˜…. Today while watering the plants, Saitaoha staggered to me carrying a little stool and asked me to sit. I asked ah pa and turns out he sits on the stool when he gardens β™₯️. Saitaoha melts us with her sweet gestures sometimes.

She was giggling in delight because her jeje was dancing. She seems to love her jeje but the love is not reciprocated, poor Saitaomei.

Then again, I don’t blame Saitaoha for resenting her sister. Today I was trying to carry and settle Saitaomei who was about to nap. As luck would have it, Saitaoha had to potty at the same time. I was hoping I would have settled Saitaomei by the time Saitaoha was done. Of course that didn’t happen, Saitaoha looked at me and said ‘finish!!’ and was going to get up. I panicked and shrieked ‘wait!!! Wait!’ while thinking where I could put the almost asleep baby. I could hear R’s car coming in the driveway too, so I kept telling Saitaoha not to get up and to wait. Poor girl started crying. Luckily her papa came in just then πŸ˜….

This happens a lot where Saitaoha just has to suck it up because she’s older and I have to handle her mei mei first. She is so cheery and boisterous with her ‘Come on mummy!!’ (when she wants me to play with her’ and her ‘Hi mummy!!’ Sometimes I’m in the bedroom trying to put Saitaomei to sleep, just as her eyelids drop, Saitaoha will come bouncing in ‘HI MUMMY!!’ Eyelids snap open. πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“

Tonight she surprised me though. I was in the other room, it was darkened and I was putting Saitaomei down for the night. Saitaoha came in ‘Hi mummy!’ ‘Saitaoha, mummy is trying to make Mei Mei sleep, sssshhhh ok?’ I put my fingers to my lips.

She nodded, put her fingers to her lips and whispered ‘hi mummy!’ Afterwards she kept peeking in and whispering ‘come on mummy, come Saitaoha’s house’ (her room is her house haha). When I told her I would go to her house later, she nodded and whispered ‘bye mummy!’ then she closed the door behind her!

Wah my Saitaoha is growingup 😭.

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Energiser bunnies

Oh gosh both kids are Ms Mak Kim Kim today. Past midnight and they’re finally willing to sleep for the night πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“.

I knew it was too good to be true when both kids fell asleep at 7pm. R and I looked at each other in glee and accidentally fell asleep too. We brought both kids out today and boy was it tiring. I was awaken by Saitaomei half an hour later, walked out to the living room to see a very energetic Saitaoha who was very excited to see me. R and I looked at each other dejectedly, the 7pm was just a nap! We knew we were in for a long night.

Saitaoha had lots of fun with her duplo for the rest of the night. She was trying to feed Saitaomei πŸ˜….

Ok I think they’re finally out now *fingers crossed*. Better hurry sleep before Saitaomei’s next feed, sigh.

Power out

Western Power is replacing a power pole/line outside my house so there is no electricity from 7.30am to 3.30pm. I was hoping it was just my house and I could go hang out at my parents’ place, but because they literally live a house away, they’ve had their power cut too πŸ˜….

So we all went out to the shops instead. My ah pa was so organised, he got up early to park his car outside the garage, I would have totally forgotten that power cut = garage door can’t open. Heng that my parents are a lot more seng mok than I am!

A few durian mochis later, both kids k.o-ed in the car during the ride home and we made a successful transfer ✌🏻. So both my parents are napping with the kids now while I am forced to do nothing but nua on the couch because no electricity = no cooking!

My parents and I took turns carrying the hefty Saitaomei at the shops. At one point Ah pa was carrying her in one arm and pushing the supermarket trolley with his other hand. I thought ‘he shouldn’t have to help me look after my baby’. I’ve been thinking of increasing Saitaoha’s daycare days when I return to work (quite soon😭). However Ah pa told me that he’s not comfortable with putting her in for so many days, his heart breaks when she cries during drop offs. He said he can help ah Ma with both kids especially Saitaomei. It reminded me of what my brother said to me after his holiday in Perth. He said that he had never seen my father in the caregiver mode because he was the youngest. During his trip, he was happy and surprised to see my father pulling his weight with the grandkids, it was heartwarming to see how tender and loving he is towards the little ones.

I’ve come to terms that I won’t be going back to Singapore/Kuching with them. For quite some time, I was still undecided especially when my sister decided that she was going to go too. Now I’m quite looking forward to it, I’m hoping my parents will have a lovely and restful holiday 😊. I will have to level up and do a lot more driving and multi tasking, let’s just hope I don’t kill R during this period 😐.

Good things come to those who wait

Sent this photo to R yesterday. He is addicted to Ali Express and receives a parcel every other day.

Today’s photo with the caption ‘another day another Ali Express package’πŸ˜…. Both times he replied ‘my two favourite things’.

Ah Ma sent me this photo of gung gung and Saitaoha gardening. They bought her new gloves!

She’s becoming quite the little gardener hehe.

Baked an asparagus, mushroom and bacon quiche. I also did the laundry, changed the bed sheets, had adequate pumping sessions and had dinner ready today, such a sense of accomplishment haha. Little wins, little wins.

But then we discovered that I stuffed up some paperwork and now we have to redo it again! Grrrr… this is really the year to hone my patience, somehow nothing goes smoothly and we have to jump through hoops to get anywhere. The good news is I’m getting much better at dealing with these issues now and it doesn’t stress me out as much. It’s annoying but just get it done, no point stressing or whining. But I can’t wait till we are finally done and can celebrate! Here’s hoping good news is not too far away *fingers crossed*

Breathe

Life seems to consist of waiting for the kids to nap and waiting for the kids to wake up from their naps. Time trickles by just like that, it makes going out almost impossible because unfortunately their napping times are not in sync. And I wasn’t even going anywhere exciting, it was a much needed trip to the butchers πŸ˜“. My life is unglamorous like that.

We finally made it out and both kids fell asleep in the car! So R waited in the car whilst I made a mad dash in the rain to grab the meat. It was worth it because my first attempt at θ₯Ώζ΄‹θœζ±€ was a success. I made it because poor ah pa has a cough and I read that this soup is good for coughs.

With both kids at home, there was hardly any time to breathe. It was chop chop get dinner ready. Feed Saitaoha. Send food to ah ma halfway because I’m afraid ah pa will be hungry. R eats dinner while carrying Saitaomei. I continue to feed Saitaoha. My turn to eat dinner, his turn to feed Saitaomei. Wash dishes. Take turns bathing the kids. Put Saitaomei down for her nap. Take turns to shower. Run the laundry. Hang laundry. Feed Saitaomei. Saitaomei has a poonami, another bath is required. Saitaoha wants a snack. In between all that , squeeze in pumping sessions. It’s actually impossible to squeeze all that in a night so something has to go, I miss a pumping session and it’s five hours before my next pump. I feel so engorged and uncomfortable.

Settled Saitaomei for the night but could hear Saitaoha whining and calling for me in the bedroom. So once Saitaomei was asleep, as much as I longed to have some me time, I snuck into the bedroom. She was delighted to see me. My poor baby. We feel that she’s grown up so much since our Melbourne trip, she seems more resilient. But it also makes me sad because I don’t want her to lose her baby innocence. She whispers to me and we sing ABC in whispery tones. I envelope her in a hug. She hugs me for a long time, her fingers caressing my face, her cheek resting on my shoulder. It’s as if she knows this is a rare moment when mummy’s attention is solely on her. Just Saitaoha and mummy time. I’ve been with her all day but I miss her.

Yesterday I went to ah ma’s house and chanced upon ah pa sitting outside. He didn’t see me and was just sitting on a chair staring into space. He was coughing a bit and looked totally exhausted. When he spotted me he waved to me and told me not to come near because he was sick. Afterwards ah Ma told me that he was with Saitaomei early in the morning while Ah Ma conked out. I know how those 2-3 hourly feeding rituals can make you feel totally spent. Ah pa looked so old and tired, I felt like a useless daughter.

My sister had asked me to join her on her Singapore trip. I want to say yes in a heartbeat. But … there’s always buts. I can’t justify the expense. R won’t be able to join us. His birthday falls on those dates. I wish I could be more decisive. I don’t know when I became this dishevelled, insecure and anxious worrywart. Actually I do know, since I became a mother! I’m so unsure of myself all the time, I don’t know what I’m doing.

Some days I’m ok and I tell myself it’s ok that my parents are leaving, I can handle two kids without help, I’ll be fine. Then there are days like today when I think, I barely survived and that was because R was around, how am I going to cope when it’s just me?

Sigh. I think I need another Saitaoha hug. I might go stroke Saitaomei’s face and hold her little finger for a while.

Motherhood

That face πŸ˜‚. This is her ‘ I don’t know why you’re taking photos of me when you should be picking me up’ face. Since we’ve been back, I have been smothering this one with cuddles and kisses, I’m sure if she knew how to, she would be pushing my face away going ‘enough! Enough!’

Her teeth came out while we were away so my poor parents had to deal with her restless and unsettled teething behaviour.

Homecooked dinner last night is Taiwanese 區肉, stir fried cabbage and wintermelon pork rib soup. It was so nice to eat homecooked food after days of eating out.

Late night shopping session at Spudshed, love it that they are open 24 hours, unheard of in Perth. The icecream sales were so good, I bought a box of each for my parents and us.

Yesterday I felt like a mummy failure. I accidentally snipped Saitaomei’s finger when I was cutting her nails, then Saitaoha also fell from the sofa and hurt her lip. I was going to get up to stop her from climbing so high but was pumping, so too late and bang she goes. I really really hate pumping. I guess I am glad that at least I don’t have supply issues, but the frequent pumping to maintain supply, the washing, cleaning and storing takes up so much time and energy. It also doesn’t help that my breasts are pretty much mangled from the pumping, I have sores, flaking and cracked skin, even I shudder when I look at myself in the mirror.

I guess body image issues is also one of the reason why I bought zilch clothing in Melbourne. I just wish I could feel more in control again, physically and mentally.

The coming month will be tough because my parents will be away for three weeks. I warned R that we will probably be having lots of takeaway and very simple meals. I’m not sure he gets it though sigh πŸ˜”.

Part of me so wants to go back with my parents, but I’m not going to do it. They really need a break from the kids, I guess everyone needs one to stay sane.

Mother’s Day is coming up, how many mummies are wishing for a day off to sleep as their Mother’s Day present ?

Behind every cloud

It was a lazy Friday today, it was nice nua-ing in bed as long as possible after a late night with both bubs. Even better that R was home, he doesn’t have to work tomorrow so we get a long weekend together, how nice.

I put a headband on Saitaomei but Mah mah says it’s doesn’t suit her because she looks like a boy!

Oops headband became nightshade.

R looked at her and said ‘Arrrr…someone became a pirate!’

Happy to be out finally. She was getting cabin fever. Sleepy girl… I told R she will probably sleep in class when she grows up πŸ˜“. She missed her nap again and ended up napping at 6pm! So it’s now midnight and she’s still awake πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“.

Brought LG and Saitaoha to the playground. The only problem with the playground is how sandy Saitaoha gets afterwards.

I couldn’t resist buying this extra spicy Maggi mee kari, totally sucked in by the lebih pedas lagi syok tagline.

Guess what we had for dinner? It was good! I might buy a few packs to send to my brother, he says that he has Maggi whenever he feels homesick.

I’ve been such a stress head since the second child that I feel like I’m constantly under a fog. Today, the cloud suddenly lifted and I just felt weightless. I don’t know why I felt that way but for a while I felt so contented and happy to have my kids and family with me. I wish I felt that way all the time. If only the clouds could stay away forever…


May 2018
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