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Grateful days

COVID hasn’t been easy but I’ve mostly been grateful. Grateful to still have a job, grateful to have my family close by, grateful to be able to spend more time with the kids and husband, grateful that life has slowed down and allowed me to restart an exercise regime.

But mostly I’m grateful for this.

Playing with Saitaomei and her new cubby house.
Coffee barista or tea lady?
Evenings at Gung Gung and Mah Mah’s
Hogging the yoga mat but no sign of moving
Finally getting up!
Not bad. Single leg planking.
Happy to get out but she didn’t know it was for her flu shot! Was easily bribed with a jellybean though.
Boo!
Endless rounds of hide and seek. They never tire of this classic game.
Child labour.

They both scrambled up on the dinner table once they realised I was going to peel eggs. Both did a good job ๐Ÿ‘. Saitaoha said ‘mummy, we are big girls now. We can help you.’ It was both touching and heart wrenching at the same time. They’ve grown so much and really are big girls now. But I wish they were my babies forever.

Ahhhhhh…..

R: know what this is?

Me: err icecream stick?

R to Saitaoha: Saitaoha what is this?

Saitaoha: Tongue depressor

R: (laughs) haha icecream stick ….๐Ÿ˜‚

Me: wah Saitaoha so smart

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. – Charles Dicken, Tale of two cities

Tough times

R was told by his boss today that their workplace will be closed indefinitely from the start of next week. His hours had been cut drastically prior to this announcement and to be honest, business was dwindling even with reduced hours. Government has put restrictions on the supply of their services, and no one is really leaving their house except for essentials, so their company has been hard hit. Whilst this was to be expected in light of COVID-19, what irks me the most is the fact that R will not be entitled to any Government support. Like all rushed policies and legislation, there are loopholes where people fall through the gaps, unfortunately, R will  falls within the cracks.

It is frustrating that the hard workers, the investors, the middle-upper middle class are the ones that don’t get any support in times of need, and yet when the country is out of this rut, the very same class of workers are the ones that will bear the brunt of the recovery. R is the most responsible and reliable (to a fault in fact) worker I know, he doesn’t spend much and throws any savings into our mortgage repayments and the like. This is the reason why despite all the COVID implications, I believe we are well placed to weather the storm. But it feels so unfair that dole bludgers get more dole, yet responsible workers get no help when they’re out of a job. Sigh.

Ranting aside, I know I should be thankful that I still have a job. Who knew that I would one day be the sole breadwinner of the family?

I’m praying and wishing that R will keep positive during this tough time. He’s such a workaholic and puts so much of himself in his work that I fear he will be lost and depressed for some time. This is when family comes in and props him up . I hope the kids and I will be a source of positivity for him.

Oh for the sun to shine again …

The new norm

I’m hoping that I will be able to keep this blog for a long time to come, so that 20, 30 years later, I can revisit my blog and remember this crazy crazy time that we’re living in.

It’s been such a shocking year, the rules no longer apply and all norms have been thrown out the window. It’s a year of setting new norms, the new norms of working from home,  having meetings via little windows on your screen, where muting your microphone is now the new work etiquette.

The kids are also settling into their new norms. A daily routine where there is no longer school, no weekend outings, no trips to the shops, no family gatherings. Their world is now a small small world which consists of our little home to their Gung Gung Mah Mah’s house. When we bought my parents’ home a couple years back, we never knew how handy living in close proximity with them would be. Now the kids look forward to their daily walk from their house to their grandparents’ house.

Their playground is now the playground set that their GGMM installed in their backyard.

We go through Saitaoha’s class exercises online, she and her teacher exchange sweet video greetings to each other.

We are trying to do cosmic yoga exercise everyday, Mei Mei is an active participant too.

I’m glad that they’re too small to fear COVID or understand the mayhem that the world is facing. I just hope that this situation won’t last forever that this new norm of very limited social interaction will scar them for life. I hope they remember this time as a time when they got to see a lot of their parents, when mummy and papa ‘going to work’ meant they didn’t actually leave the house.

R has been struggling during this time too. He is recovering, thank goodness. But his work hours have been cut drastically, our trip to Adelaide to visit his family and new born niece has been cancelled. I know he was really looking forward to the trip so I can feel his sadness and disappointment. I’m lucky I have my parents right next to me and my siblings close by, he doesn’t

This new norm of COVID will have lasting repercussions on work for a long time to come I feel. My once super urgent project has come to a halt in light of COVID, we needed the extra time so I’m not too sad about it, but I wonder whether we will ever gain back the momentum when this is all over, or will the moment be lost forever? It was a once in a lifetime project, hampered by a once in a lifetime pandemic.

There will be moments of frustration and stress from being cooped up for so long, but for now, I’m glad my nearest and dearest are safe and sound and we still have our cocoon of a home to shelter us during this tough time.

Happy Easter folks!

 

 

 

Because I love her

Saitaomei had a crying bout, she finally stops and lies on me with a sad face.

Saitaoha comes over and starts patting her sister and stroking her back.

Why are you patting mei mei? I ask.

‘Because she is sad and because I love her’. Saitaoha replies.

โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™

My sister in law had a baby girl! So cute and small and squishy. I miss them when their tiny, but I don’t miss the insecurities and anxiety of being a new mom.

Saitaomei small and cuddly
Saitaoha small and cuddly
Saitaoha not yet one month old

Sigh I miss my cuddly kiddos.

CNY holiday begins

Saitaomei was excited to be going on a holiday!

But her jeje enjoyed it the most, she adores her cousins and yee yees, so getting to travel with them was heaven for her.

This time I didn’t hesitate to get my holiday drink of Starbucks matcha latte, I know the opportunity to indulge is far and few in between so better get it while I can. I don’t even like it that much anymore but I like it that it symbolises being on a holiday.

The kids trying out their CNY costumes before the holiday. So cute hehe.

My first attempt at making kuih lapis, I quite enjoyed the process and would like to try other flavours. The only thing is now that I know the crazy amount of egg yolks, sugar and butter that goes into this cake I’m not sure I can encourage any of my loved ones to eat it!

I seriously don’t know where she learned to pose like that!

Where did she get this from? YouTube videos? This was at our favourite Spring, love it that the shopping centre is quiet even nearing the festive season.

It’s nice to be home and lovely hanging out with the family, I’m looking forward to seeing my brother again too. But I always feel bad whenever I see how stress my parents become when we’re over. It’s really tough maintaining two households and because they are away from Kuching for so long (looking after my kids *gulp*) everything is broken down or malfunctioning, supplies need replenishing and multiple errands are awaiting. As visitors of the house, we don’t know how to fix anything or get around and rely on my parents for everything. Travelling around in a big group logistics wise is challenging too and everything falls to them as the hosts when they are hardly in the country themselves. It’s really quite difficult and they could just have the devil may care attitude but my parents are just not like that, they take care of all of us and over worry and fret about our comfort too much. It’s stressful for them, and stressful for us too.

I’m hoping it gets easier once I move out because I know my little ones make everything all the more challenging. I want my parents to have a holiday too!

Not so happy Father’s Day

One year ago on Father’s Day, Saitaomei was so small, chubby and cuddly.

Aiyoh so cute. Hello mei mei. Still hanging on to her favourite xiu xiu.

Papa and Saitaoha on Father’s Day last year.

No pictures this year because Saitaomei is really sick! She spent the whole night screaming and wailing and this continued today. She runs a fever on and off and is off her food. I was worried enough to bring her to the doctors, something that I hardly do when she gets sick because I know the doctors can’t prescribe her anything for common colds and flus. The doctor said it might be the on start of a viral infection?

A miserable, wet and windy Father’s Day. But Happy Father’s Day R and my dear ah pa! I don’t say it near enough but you’re worth your weight in gold and I really appreciate all that you do for the family. The kids love both of you to pieces ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

Easter trip – Dunsborough

What terrible weather for our Easter road trip!

Didn’t dampen Saitaoha’s excitement though :). She’s been asking me everyday whether she can ‘go on holiday yet?’ Please mummy please….’ finally I could say yes today and she went ‘yeah!!!’

Our air bnb house is really quite nice with great family areas, it’s a pity the weather is so crummy or else we would be walking to the beach nearby.

Mushroom risotto for dinner cooked by my trusty Phillips all in one cooker. We wanted something easy to cook and this hit the spot.

Breaking out the snacks flown from the United States. It is really fun being all together. I’m looking forward to tomorrow already.

We have a babysitter in Aunty Peggy, she’s like a pied piper, all the kids adore her and follow her everywhere.

Now that we’re on the way back home, it is safe to say that the best day of our holiday was the first day :S. I think our downfall was my stupid attitude of trying to please everyone but ending up pleasing no one. It’s something that I have a habit of doing and I’m kicking myself for it. R didn’t help of course, at times I feel like I have three children, with him being the most petulant and childish one! It’s when I’m reminded how different our upbringings and characters are. Trying periods but we get through them as we always do.

Very impressive sandcastle, other little kids came along to help decorate too, so cute.

We lost our hearts to the beach just 5 mins walk from our place.

It was breathtaking in the evening and during sunset.

Hehe little Saitaomei got to dip her feet in the cold waters. She loved it of course.

More sandcastle building for the dynamic duo. She was like LG’s little shadow throughout the holiday.

The pinks and blues ๐Ÿ’•.

The winery that nobody wanted to go to except me ๐Ÿ˜“.

But at least Jiu Jiu scored a happy picture with Saitaomei! He has been trying to win her heart the whole trip and semi succeeded.

Happy at The Berry Farm playground with her heroine. The farm was a disappointment and I wish we didn’t go, it wasn’t the season for berry picking and everyone was tired after the long drive.

The scones were good though.

Their signature beef and red wine pie was bad, even R was struggling to finish it.

Mei mei enjoyed running around the playground.

It felt like these long windy roads were a huge part of the trip. Why is everything in Perth so far from each other? We need to have better planning systems.

This was the highlight of Saitaoha’s holiday, the countless amount of Easter egg hunts she had, I feel she will remember it for years to come.

Very serious this Easter egg hunting activity.

Mei mei had some Easter egg hunt fun too. I still remember when Saitaoha was too small to understand the Easter egg hunt that her cousins had so much fun with, she’s grown up so much.

I am so much less patient with her compared to her mei mei. Because she is bigger I expect so much more from her, it’s pretty tough for this three year old. During the holiday I scolded her for not eating her food properly and told her she was not going to the beach. She’s a stubborn one too, she sat at the bottom of the stairs sadly but refused to speak to me.

Then she told my ah ma ‘Mummy is so naughty, she so bad to me’. Woes of being a mummy. She doesn’t look for me for comfort or tenderness, it’s her mah mah that she looks for. Sigh what to do.

They’re so cute together. One all encompassing in her love for her jeje, jeje basking in the adoration from her loyal fan.

It was lovely being able to spend time with my family even though there were only brief quality moments.

Like the walk to the shops with ah ma and Saitaoha in the stroller.

The supper of Maggi Mee that we all had during our last night. We were not really hungry, I think we siblings just wanted to do something together. Like the old days when we had roadside burgers at our family home together, everyone had one even though I was really the only one hankering for a sloppy burger.

Then there was the dark walk to the shops with my siblings after some beach activity. It was fun walking in the darkness, teasing each other and laughing at our own jokes.

It wasn’t an easy or perfect family holiday, but the little pockets of gold are enough to sustain me till our next holiday.

Birthday

I’m rushing to blog about today before the clock strikes midnight in 15 minutes and my birthday is over.

I realised it was my birthday around 2am and gave my sleeping Saitaomei a kiss on the forehead. My daughters are the best gifts for me, and how nice it was to spend the first hours of my birthday with my baby.

I was pottering around the kitchen when I noticed a box and a card on our dining table. My present from R! A custom designed keep Cup for the coffee addict. I love it! I’ve been wanting to get a keep cup for ages but was lamenting to R that they’re all either really ugly or ridiculously overpriced. So he custom designed a pastel coloured one for me :).

Jo was so lovely to bring me and the kids out for shopping at Carousel. The kids had a great time and so did I.

We over indulged in a very Malaysian brunch but hey, that’s what birthdays are for right? It was all rather yummy and felt like a treat.

Hahaha. Caption this photo.

She loves being in the driver’s seat, she made her own vroom vroom sounds, shooo cute.

This two have a hilarious love hate relationship. When they’re together they are always squabbling, but when they’re not together, they’re always asking for each other ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ.

We had Mexican for dinner, delicious and easy. Tristan was the cutest kid, he said ‘this is a good choice for a restaurant yee yee’. Why thank you my dear nephew.

Saitaomei having lots of fun with her yee yee.

Then it was cake time but no decent photos because my daughters’ eyes were all on the cake! They take after me my foodie girls.

It’s my niece’s birthday today and she seems to have had a great time in Singapore. The funny girl has been sending me photos of these celebrity ambassador displays. They were laughing at my new hobby of watching K dramas, at first it was just displays of Korean actors but now its morphed into something more ๐Ÿ˜‚. May we continue celebrating our birthdays feeling loved and spoiled by our loved ones dear LG.

It was such a lovely and fun filled birthday which now I’m paying for because I’m doing such last minute packing for our early flight out tomorrow! I so wish I could pack my sister and nephew with us SIGH. But I shall buy them many treats to make up for it.

Throughout the day I kept getting birthday messages from my nearest and dearest. I switched off my birthday notification on Facebook a few years ago because I didn’t see much meaning in getting messages of ‘hb’ from acquaintances. So if someone messages me now, I know they somehow remembered my birthday and bothered to make an effort to send me a birthday wish.

I felt so touched and happy, because the messages I received were from special people who are so close to my heart. Some of us haven’t been in contact for years, but they’ve always been in my thoughts, and I guess, I’ve been in their thoughts too. My heart felt so warm and fuzzy because it felt so nice to know that the people I love and hold a special place in my heart, remember me and are thinking of me too.

Happy birthday to me, and hopefully many more happy days to come.

Working from home

Working at home today but really I feel like this ๐Ÿ‘‡

She looks very comfortable hor? She stayed there for ages watching tv, such a tv addict sigh.

I’m afraid for both R and I. Saitaoha has been having a cold for ages and now both of us have sore throats ๐Ÿ˜ญ. Please ah I cannot afford to get sick, I’ve utilised too much sick leave in 2018 sigh.

Getting better ???

Just wanted to jot down that I felt better today and could walk a bit!

I could play with this little girl.

And hang out with my tamchiak bubba too!

Best day in a long long while.


July 2020
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