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Hello happy days

Good morning sleepyhead.

Are you laughing at my bed hair?

Do you think papa will bring me to the playground today if I say pretty please?

I will flash him my best smile and I’m sure he will say yes!

Feeling lazy and contented because I managed to vacuum my parents’ floors and cook them lunch. It was only indo mee with bacon and a sunny side up, but in my lousy physical state, I’m glad that I can still complete meagre tasks.

I was patting Saitaoha and feigning sleep (to encourage her to nap) when I felt her little fingers tracing my face πŸ’•. I peeked at her and saw that her eyelids were getting heavy. She propped her legs against mine, her fingers rubbing her Xiu Xiu’s ears, a giveaway that she’s feeling very very sleepy. The gentle sunlight streams in from the window and I can hear the trees swaying in the wind outside. It’s a beautiful day in Perth today.

Her hand drops from Xiu Xiu and her long eyelashes fall across her rosy cheeks. Success. The toddler is asleep. Her t-shirt is emblazoned with the words Hello Happy Days. Hello Happy Days indeed. Gotta love lazy Saturday afternoons.


Watermelon πŸ‰

Happy baby gets all the attention today because jeje has gone to daycare.

Baby has new daddy?

We invited my BIL to join us for lunch. He is a super daddy and is always very attentive to Tristan. It was so nice of him to offer to carry Saitaomei so I could eat.

Happy BIL because he gets to order food that he wants to try (instead of ordering food that his child will share and eat) for a change.

It’s our favourite noodle place, their spicy big intestines noodles was πŸ‘.

I had my usual dan dan mian.

Quickly cooked mushroom and spinach risotto for dinner so Saitaoha could have some once she returns from daycare. She’s usually famished when she’s back but I was worried she wouldn’t eat it since she’s on a food strike nowadays. She ate a bowl πŸ™πŸ».

Enjoying some watermelon for supper. She loves watermelon and this was was extra special because it’s from ah pa’s garden! Super sweet and juicy, better than store bought 😍.

Check out R’s pained expression. I reckon that’s what daddies are best for, physical horsing around. If I had to do pull ups with Saitaoha, I would probably land on my back and crush her πŸ˜….

Whatcha lookin’ at?

Is it Friday yet???

Finally Friday tomorrow, I hope I get some time to bake a cake, pack Saitaoha’s old clothes, take out some clothes for Saitaomei (she’s growing so big!) and bring Saitaoha to the playground.

Sigh I always have these plans but they never seem to work out, ζ—Άι—΄δΈε€Ÿη”¨οΌ

Last day of holiday

Last day in Singapore, also known as the day you try to stuff as much food as possible into your protesting stomach. We are tamchiak like that. Before we went to bed, ah Ma Whatsapped me from her room (does everyone do that because we do that a lot!) listing all the food items we had to finish off, it went something like sio bee, Lao Ban tau hway, Tai Cheong egg tarts, cheng teng, nashi pears …. 😱😱😱 Despite this list, I am still regretting not having another bowl of lor mee, maybe it’s best to stop while I have such fond memories of that first bowl.

The day started well with a mug of Toastbox kopi, for some reason I keep thinking that their kopis are very popular with Singaporeans and I should try? Anyway, it was very nice but I’m not sure that it was nicer than the ones I’ve had at kopitiams? I will miss kopis so much!

Ah Ma had nasi Padang which was very good. She let me have a few bites and everything I tasted was very tasty, she was quite pleased.

We also ordered chai tow kueh to share, I didn’t eat much of this but I remember it was good the last time I had it.

Or luak/ oyster omelette was piping hot and yummy, the oysters were fat and juicy, egg crispy, so good. I have to confess these were just shared dishes, my main was chicken rice and ah pa had curry laksa πŸ˜“.

Ah Ma asked me to take a photo of this attap chee from our ais kachang for my sis. She loves attap chee.

It was a back breaking day because Saitaoha was at her needy best (more on that later) and I ended up baby wearing her instead of the baby! My poor parents had to take turns carrying Saitaomei, I tell you, Salonpas is a must in our household. We stopped for a rest at Taka where we finally bought Tai Cheong eggtarts coz no queue. Ah Ma was like ‘aiyoh I only bought 2 eggtarts, why they package until so nice?’

Eggtarts were nice, I don’t know that they were wow though, maybe I’m used to the puff pastry egg tarts in Perth? But they were still good eggtarts.

It started pouring again late afternoon. Saitaoha fell asleep at 3pm because she was so tired after our day out. Poor kid has been walking so much (she hates being carried and doesn’t like strollers so we didn’t bring one) she has a blister on her foot. Ah Ma and I were resigned that late nap = late bedtime ‘we die loh’ she exclaimed dejectedly πŸ˜…. Anyway we still took advantage of her nap to sneak out for last minute shopping. That’s when Ah Ma and I shared a Yole, not as good as Ilao Ilao!

On our way back home, Ah Ma stopped and said ‘oh oh, what’s that ?!’ She pointed at Saitaomei’s head.

She thought it was bird crap and burst into laughter when I told her sheepishly that it was the chocolate sauce from our Yole. ‘That’s what happens when your mother is a tamchiak gui‘ she laughed. I told her that earlier in the day ah pa also noticed a grain of chicken rice on Saitaomei’s head πŸ˜“, she almost collapsed in laughter in the lift. Took out my mobile with her shaking with laughter hands and snapped this photo saying ‘quick must take photo to show your sisters’. It’s so nice to be the joke of the family 😏.

We were planning to go to our usual zhi char for Chap Goh Meh but the heavy downpour cancelled all plans for a feast. To be honest, we were so stuffed anyway. Ended up taking away some food which we had very late.

Looks messy but I had yong tao fu. I only had it around 9pm so it tasted very nice haha.

Saitaoha has been driving me mad! Her neediness and whining had reached new heights since we’ve arrived in Singapore. During the start of the holiday, I thought she was just delighted that I was going to be around 24/7 and that the novelty would soon wear off. But it’s grown worse! She refuses to let anyone else carry her or hold her hand except me, she cries if I leave the room, she insists that she wants milk if she sees me feeding Saitaomei, she cries when I am carrying Saitaomei and wants to be carried at the same time. It’s driving me mad and I keep getting so impatient with her. SIGH, I don’t know what to do. Part of me thinks I need to discipline her, another part of me is fed up with myself for telling her off. Lately she’s learned words like ‘wait’ ‘stop’ ‘sorry’, it makes me feel sad because I know she’s picked it up from me 😒.

I didn’t realise we could see the TP central shopping street lights from our window, so pretty! I love the night views of Singapore from our windows. Good bye Singapore, I will miss you, thank you for another gorgeous holidayπŸ’•.


Since we’ve been home, ah Ma and I have been alternating kids. Some nights she takes Saitaoha and I’ll take Saitaomei, on other nights we will switch kids. I have to admit I’m enjoying my daughters so much more with the added help here (not having to cook and do housework helps a lot!). I enjoy the winding down time with both kids before they fall asleep. It’s especially fun with Saitaoha because we have a lot more interaction. But she’s also a terror for refusing to go to sleep because she’s having too much fun!

Sometimes I get angry with her because she’s so naughty. But during these winding down times, when she just wants to play and cuddle with me, I am reminded that she’s not yet 2 and I’m expecting too much from my firstborn. Lately she’s been climbing on my back and walking on me, but I actually encourage it coz I have such a sore back and find it soothing. Haha using my child as a masseur.

It’s also lovely watching my parents with the kids. Sometimes Saitaoha will crawl into my ah ma’s arms and both will lie on the couch together watching tv. If her gung gung mah mah have been out, she is delighted when they’re home and greets them with giggles. Tonight when ah pa and I went out with her without my mum, she kept saying bye bye mah mah in the car as we were driving off.

Saitaomei is getting her share of attention too. My parents love talking to her which did responds to by cooing and smiling.

This sweet smile. Melts hearts.

Totally bias but gosh she’s a cutie.

Dealing with anxiety

Yesterday Ah Ma received an email from authorities that set out a few tasks to be completed within a short timeframe. It meant more paperwork, dealing with various authorities and lots of shuttling back and forth. Mind you, it was a positive email because it meant our application was moving forward. But as I read the email and thought about all the upcoming appointments to arrange and forms to fill, the familiar tension and stress which had gradually subsided during the holiday came rushing back. It was completely selfish but at that moment I thought ‘my holiday is over’. It didn’t help that the scanner broke down and we couldn’t scan some documents that were required. It brought me back to the horrendous day that I was rushing to get documents for Saitaomei’s passport and both printers at home stopped working. I broke down that day, thumped my fists on the desk and yelled out loud. I called my sister sobbing and howling ‘I am so tired’. I probably terrified the poor thing πŸ˜“.

Anyway, yesterday I convinced myself to stop stressing and complete each task step by step. Don’t procrastinate and make a mountain out of a molehill, just breathe in and out and get organised. This pep talk helped and we were able to tick off a couple of things from the to do list. We also bought a new scanner haha. Today I am going to email the authority to ask for an extension to the deadline. No point stressing and killing ourselves over impossible timelines, it’s not unreasonable to get an extension and I know we will be given one.

In the end I felt much better and was able to enjoy a shared froyo with Saitaoha after dinner. The slow pace of Kuching and the comfort of being in my family home has done wonders for the heightened anxiety that I have been experiencing since Saitaomei’s arrival. If I have to be completely honest, I was already very stressed and probably on the brink of a meltdown during my difficult pregnancy. It was tough going through hour by hour fearing the worst but trying so hard to keep negativity at bay. It didn’t help that we were facing a major upheaval at work during that time. Everything in my life felt fraught with uncertainty and negativity.

I sometimes wonder whether Saitaomei is a high needs baby or whether I’m just not coping as well because I’m struggling with my inner demons that were built pre pregnancy which makes everything feel extra hard. I suspect it’s a bit of both.

I really am thankful that despite all the difficulties to leave the country, I was able to have this holiday. Deep down I know the likelihood of being able to stay at the family home in the future is next to nil. I have enjoyed telling people that I don’t know my return date because we haven’t bought tickets yet. Being at home, I have been able to look at things in a more positive light and get some much needed clarity. I feel rested. I enjoy my kids and my parents and treasure my time with them. I love holding Saitaoha’s hand and walking down the stairs with her ‘slow slow’ I remind her, ‘slow slow’ she repeats after me.

So I am dealing with my anxiety. I think the first step was admitting that I was struggling to family and friends. I hope to go back to Australia recharged and refreshed. I have to remind myself to take things ‘slow slow’ and step by step.

Happy birthday ah pa

Happy birthday to the best ah pa and gung gung ever. I am so lucky to have been blessed with the most kind and considerate ah pa ever. I hope the kids will grow up to appreciate and love their gung gung who showers them with such love and care.

I was always a bit of a daddy’s girl. But when I grew older and especially during my rebellious teenage phase, I caused my father much angst and worry. I remember when I was young I loved sitting on my father’s lap and feel his big hands patting my head. It is heartwarming to see these tender gestures now doled out to my kids, ah pa warming Saitaoha’s hands with his big hands during winter, carrying Saitaomei and giving her a kiss.

May you always be happy and healthy ah pa. Happy birthday.

Valentine’s Day

R and I haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day in aeons. Our romantic days are long over, in fact nowadays his 爱人 is Saitaoha πŸ˜….

It got me thinking about how he used to try to be romantic during our courtship days. I use the word try because whilst the intention was there, the result was err not so romantic but quite hilarious.

Once I had a male colleague who exhibited stalker like behaviour. Unfortunately he lived nearby and would always wait near my house so we would ‘coincidentally’ get the same bus together.

At that time my sister lived with me. One evening she called me in a frantic ‘OMG Daitaoha someone stuck a rose on our door!! Do you think it’s that stalker guy! How?! So scary!!’ I was in the car with R so I turned to him and said ‘eh Jo said some person stuck a rose on our door, you think it’s that creep from work?!’ R’s face was 😐, he said ‘uhhh’ then kept silent for a while. A pin dropped and I said ‘was it YOU????’ He sheepishly nodded and said ‘I was trying to give you a surprise’. HAHAHA. And that’s the last time he tried to surprise me with romantic gestures.

Another time we went for a staycation and he decided to cook me a meal for dinner. I waited for him in the bedroom while he prepared dinner in the kitchenette. Only problem is it took him like 3 HOURS to cook dinner that I fell asleep. Our 心归牛扒 was stone cold by the time we ate it but A for effort.

Fast forward five years of marriage and two kids later, we don’t have much time or energy for romance, but I hope that we both put in more effort this year.

Happy Valentine’s Day R.

March 2018
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