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Headache

I was so tempted to call in sick today. Saitaomei is teething again and only slept close to midnight. I thought she would sleep in since she started her night late but she woke up at 5.30am! I have a migraine that seems to be building up, hopefully a coffee will do the trick. Sigh.

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Today ah pa told me that he teared when he dropped Saitaoha off at daycare. ‘She was so happy when she woke up, greeted all of us good morning, had her breakfast and was all dressed up and energetic for the day ahead. She said goodbye to ah ma, got into the car then realised we were bringing her to school. She suddenly scrambled off the car and ran indoors yelling for your ah ma and asking for 抱抱. Ah ma tried to comfort her with a chocolate frog but she still didn’t want to go. In the end I had to carry her to the car. I talked to her all the way in the car, I was afraid she would be upset but she was ok. But when we reached the daycare, she gave me back the chocolate frog that ah ma gave her, and she said to me, Gung Gung, go home. I couldn’t help it, I cried.’

😭😭😭

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Guilty grandparents bought toys and books for this spoilt little girl who totally has her Gung Gung wrapped around her little finger.

This little girl got a new plate!

My girls are so so lucky.

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Out of all the siblings, I think I am the most prepared for my grandmother’s eventual passing. I went back home not that long ago and managed to spend time with mah mah and say my farewells.

But my heart still feels so heavy. I know it’s inevitable and an end to mah mah’s suffering. Yet my heart still feels like it’s breaking. I ache for my father, that he is losing his mother who loved him very very much. I fear the day that my children, who share such a close and loving bond with grandparents, will lose their Gung Gung Mah Mah, like how I’m losing mine. I almost can’t bear the thought. It’s too painful to think about it and I am not sure I could ever survive it.

Sigh why do people have to grow old ?

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My Chinese girl

Ah ma sent us this photo and asked ‘guess who is eating what?’ The choices: fish, broccoli and rice, quiche, fussili marinara and fettuccine in truffle cream sauce.

I guessed correctly that my China girl chose fish and rice! She just doesn’t like western food much and prefers her soups, noodles and rice. But ah ma said she was lured by yee yee’s fusilli in the end, so she had fish with the fusilli. Hmm, it did look very appetising, why never cook for me yee yee?

This one gets to have apple. I jinxed myself by saying she’s sleeping through the night. She had a really bad sleep yesterday, I was zombified in the morning.

My sister and I braved the horrible rain for Ippudo ramen. The wind blew our umbrellas inside out, we regretted our decision immediately. The ramen was hot and tasty though so that was a consolation, plus it’s always fun catching up with my sister. We’re meeting again tomorrow! The first work week has been tiring but fun so far.

My first grey πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

So sad😭😭😭. My first white hair. And I’m sure there are more to come. I told R I should take a picture of Saitaoha with my white hair because this is what parenting does to you! Yummy mummy is a myth!!

I just say R was positively gleeful when he plucked out my grey hair, I think because I’ve been plucking out his for years.

One day people are going to think my evergreen ah Ma is my childrens’ mother and I’m their grandmother.

Hi hi! My mummy says I’m the culprit of her grey hair.

Mummy, don’t blame me just because you’re showing signs of your OLD age.

Sick

Arrgh Ms Mak Kim Kim just won’t go to sleep and I’m so freaking tired. It’s been a day of battling with the sick Saitaoha whilst feeling so heavy headed myself. I am so clogged up, even my teeth ache πŸ˜–. And I can’t even take meds coz breastfeeding, I just downed some Panadol hoping it will make me feel better.

Poor Saitaoha, if I’m feeling so bad she must be feeling worse. I really should be more patient with her, but I’m dead 😡.

I am really worried Saitaomei will catch our bug, it’s inevitable I guess SIGH.

Mind over matter

The message I received ☝️just as I was to head out the door for Saitaoha’s daycare drop off. I was so tempted to call the daycare to say she wasn’t coming in, but I knew I would regret being such a wimp, so I grit my teeth and headed out.

I tried a new route today, using the highway! It’s a little bit faster and less roundabouts and traffic lights, but faster speed limit and yep, we were caught in the thunderstorm πŸ˜“. I kept calm and drove slowly throughout, I rather get there late but safe.

Luckily the kids were angels in the car even though Saitaoha cried at drop off again. Her eyes were red by the time we parked, she looked at me and whimpered ‘gung gung Mah Mah?’ I shook my head no, then she said ‘papa?’ Poor girl was listing all her saviours to save her from daycare! I can’t tell my Ah pa this story or else he might feel so guilty that he will cart back a teddy bear from Malaysia.

Anyhow, we survived. I’m just hoping it won’t storm again when I pick her up!

Power out

Western Power is replacing a power pole/line outside my house so there is no electricity from 7.30am to 3.30pm. I was hoping it was just my house and I could go hang out at my parents’ place, but because they literally live a house away, they’ve had their power cut too πŸ˜….

So we all went out to the shops instead. My ah pa was so organised, he got up early to park his car outside the garage, I would have totally forgotten that power cut = garage door can’t open. Heng that my parents are a lot more seng mok than I am!

A few durian mochis later, both kids k.o-ed in the car during the ride home and we made a successful transfer ✌🏻. So both my parents are napping with the kids now while I am forced to do nothing but nua on the couch because no electricity = no cooking!

My parents and I took turns carrying the hefty Saitaomei at the shops. At one point Ah pa was carrying her in one arm and pushing the supermarket trolley with his other hand. I thought ‘he shouldn’t have to help me look after my baby’. I’ve been thinking of increasing Saitaoha’s daycare days when I return to work (quite soon😭). However Ah pa told me that he’s not comfortable with putting her in for so many days, his heart breaks when she cries during drop offs. He said he can help ah Ma with both kids especially Saitaomei. It reminded me of what my brother said to me after his holiday in Perth. He said that he had never seen my father in the caregiver mode because he was the youngest. During his trip, he was happy and surprised to see my father pulling his weight with the grandkids, it was heartwarming to see how tender and loving he is towards the little ones.

I’ve come to terms that I won’t be going back to Singapore/Kuching with them. For quite some time, I was still undecided especially when my sister decided that she was going to go too. Now I’m quite looking forward to it, I’m hoping my parents will have a lovely and restful holiday 😊. I will have to level up and do a lot more driving and multi tasking, let’s just hope I don’t kill R during this period 😐.

Hello happy days

Good morning sleepyhead.

Are you laughing at my bed hair?

Do you think papa will bring me to the playground today if I say pretty please?

I will flash him my best smile and I’m sure he will say yes!

Feeling lazy and contented because I managed to vacuum my parents’ floors and cook them lunch. It was only indo mee with bacon and a sunny side up, but in my lousy physical state, I’m glad that I can still complete meagre tasks.

I was patting Saitaoha and feigning sleep (to encourage her to nap) when I felt her little fingers tracing my face πŸ’•. I peeked at her and saw that her eyelids were getting heavy. She propped her legs against mine, her fingers rubbing her Xiu Xiu’s ears, a giveaway that she’s feeling very very sleepy. The gentle sunlight streams in from the window and I can hear the trees swaying in the wind outside. It’s a beautiful day in Perth today.

Her hand drops from Xiu Xiu and her long eyelashes fall across her rosy cheeks. Success. The toddler is asleep. Her t-shirt is emblazoned with the words Hello Happy Days. Hello Happy Days indeed. Gotta love lazy Saturday afternoons.


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