Curry laksa

We have the best neighbours. Auntie has been inviting me over to her house to teach me how to cook her curry laksa. Ah ma and I finally went today and gosh, there’s so much work to her curry laksa. What was more astonishing was how she had us bringing home an entire pot of curry laksa, with prepped condiments of giant peeled prawns, noodles, bean sprouts and even packed us coriander! Later in the afternoon Uncle came over twice, first to bring us some fried rice for the kids in case they don’t eat curry laksa, and later to give us her toasted cumin and coriander seed spices.

Her curry laksa was delicious lah. I’m always awed by our neighbours’ kindness and generosity, but I have to say my parents are pretty awesome neighbours too so they deserve each other ! Haha I think they were ‘meant to be’ neighbours and I’m always glad they found each other.

We made it to the park again today and this time we cycled there, quite a feat for the kids I feel. I think they enjoyed themselves and it’s a nice memory for them this school holidays.

Yesterday I couldn’t upload any pictures because my WordPress ran out of space! After what close to 10 years of blogging, I’ve finally used up all my storage quota, it’s been a good run. I ended up paying for a subscription which I loathe, but I know I have to because this place is where I’ve chronicled so much of my life in Australia especially after the kids came about and life before too! Let’s hope it’s all worth it.

And just let that the last long weekend of the year is over boohoo. I’m thankful it happened during my first week at work which made the first week a soft landing. I wonder what the first month will be like!

It’s funny but I’m already looking forward to Christmas this year.

The monster inside us

The girls and I really like Shisuke Yoshitake books, the author is such a great artist and so creative, funny, thoughtful and full of imagination. Tonight we read ‘Why do I feel like this’ and it works through why we have bad feelings and how do we make them go away in a humorous and delightful manner. I find these books so thought provoking and helpful!

Yesterday we read ‘Can I build another me?’ and the girls and I had a long chat about what made them them, what were their likes and dislikes, how they think others perceive them.

It’s through these chats that I understand the girls a bit more and hopefully they understand me a bit more! I also felt a bit sad that they like being with their grandparents more because being with mummy and papa is not so fun, because I always say no to them and I’m strict. They confidently said their grandparents love them very much and never say no to them ! It is not fun being the disciplinarian all the time, I am angry with myself for always telling them off and scolding them, surely I can do better as a mum?

Our long weekend has been pretty dismal because both kids are not well so I couldn’t really bring them anywhere! I know Saitaoha really wanted to go to a water park but with sniffly colds, it was not possible. we couldn’t even celebrate my mum’s birthday because even my parents caught a cold, poor Ah ma, I hope she at least felt loved and cherished by her children.

The weather was sunny and bright out so I wanted to bring them to the playground. Luckily we brought them out for a spin for two days and the girls had some Vitamin D and outdoor time.

R was annoying this weekend because I could see him falling into that phase where he goes into a C-drama binge. I love watching dramas myself, but I like to think that I still put the girls first and only try to watch when they’ve all gone to sleep. But it’s his long weekend too and goodness know I know how sometimes drama binging is trying to drown out the workplace stress and other worries. So I let him go into his man cave and did my best to ignore him. We will talk about it when he’s out of his cave.

My thoughts are these, why should I wait for the man to have fun with my children? I can do it by myself. So I packed them a picnic and snacks, we went off in their bicycles to the nearby park and they had a lovely afternoon cycling and playing.

There was some resentment but it mostly went away because life is too short to be unhappy all the time. The book that we read tonight talked about how there is a monster of bad feelings inside us who earns money and is happy whenever we are sad or mad. So it talks about what we should do to not let the monster control us, it really was very apt for how I felt this weekend ! I am responsible for my own happiness and my children’s, so let’s do what we can to make ourselves happy.

Day 2

Boss may have caught Covid so he wasn’t in today. I had a good day of meeting other division leads and they were all lovely and helpful. The oldies seem a bit jaded and tired, I guess because the big announcement means there’s more work to come. The newcomers are excited and bright eyed. I wonder whether I seem the same way to them ?

It’s Day 2 and I almost broke the coffee machine. Luckily someone smarter fixed it up but I couldn’t believe my daitaoha-ness already struck by Day 2.

There are no good lunch spots, actually there is a lack of lunch spots let alone good lunch places, my money hungry self thinks a Chinese takeaway would do very well in this part of the city. I miss having a lunch buddy and having a stroll in the city. I think I will save a lot of money in this job 😂.

Day 1

It felt good to be handed my work pass. Everyone was approachable and welcoming, I didn’t enjoy the small talk and have never been good at it. But I think I was ok and hopefully came across likeable and friendly too.

Maybe of the corporate cultures spoke to me and my values which did not come as a surprise, since an ex colleague that I admire a lot who is now working there spoke highly of their culture.

With every new job, new role and new challenge, there’s always going to be boggles of self doubt, can I do this ? Am I good enough? But I know that the easiest way to dispel these moments of uncertainty is to just dive into it and work hard. For my second day, I’m looking forward to diving deep and exploring my new world. This could be a new world that I could grow to love whole heartedly, my heart is already open to embracing it. Let’s hope they don’t let me down and I don’t let them down !

Liberation over

6 weeks flew by in a flash and my liberation days are over. It was an enjoyable 6 weeks filled with family time, lots of me time and yet also busy. I managed to tick off everything on my to-do list yet I feel I didn’t achieved much. Towards the end of my liberation days, I started indulging in nostalgic activities like watching old TVB dramas, it was really very nice and I will miss my self indulgent, liberation days dearly.

I am mostly sad that I won’t be able to be involved in the girls’ school life as much, but surprisingly, my daughters are actually glad that I’m going back to work! Saitaoha has been asking me when I’m going back to work because she really wants to just spend alone time with her grandparents and her sister. My takeaway from this unusual scenario is that I’m not a fun mum and am quite strict with them so they’re looking forward to a more relaxing lifestyle with their grandparents! It’s actually a relief for me that they love being with their grandparents so much, I’ve mentioned before, my parents shower then with so much love and care that they’re wrapped in this warm cocoon all the time. It is no wonder that they find my parents home so comforting and don’t miss the presence of their parents much.

Some parents might be upset about this but I’m not at all, I love being with my parents too so I’m glad my kids take after me haha. During the last week, the kids and I had a staycation at my parents’ house while they were away, it was actually very fun, my parents’ house is really a home away from home for us.

I’m not too worried about my first day tomorrow because it will mostly be filled with induction training. I’m looking forward to getting a new work laptop, mobile and work pass ! Gosh I’m such a loser :(. I think I need work to make my life fulfilling, what a weirdo!

Wish me luck for my next stage in my career, I’m hoping it’s all sunshine and rainbows 🌈 ☀️, surely I’m overdue some good luck at work right ?

Rainbows

It was raining cats and dogs today, the night before it was even hailing and my heart sank at the thought of driving in the storm during school pick ups.

Last week I read the tragic news about a couple of 20 year olds who drowned when they drove their car into a lake. It was the driver’s first time venturing a bit further from home since she bought her new car. That could so be me I thought. An inexperienced driver and one with no sense of direction too.

What scares me is not being in a car crash myself, but driving the girls really worries me. I know I should just bear with this overpowering anxiety, because the more I drive the better and more confident I will be. But honestly, when I checked the weather forecast endlessly last night and heard the hail beating against the roof, I was so tempted to tell the girls they could have a day off from school. Saitaoha made it even easier by feigning coughs in the morning (despite loving school, she always wants to stay home when her sister is home with me).

I told myself that I had to do it, that I couldn’t find excuses to not send the girls to school, school is so important and facing my fears is also important.

We made it too, Saitaomei and I! We even managed to stay dry in between the storms and showers. Tomorrow it’s another wet day but I’m telling myself that there’s always a rainbow after the rain.

Last liberation week

My parents have flown home to Kuching and it’s officially my last liberation week before I start the new job. Part of me is sad because I will really miss being able to spend time with the girls, but another part of me is just wanting to start my new work life already. I’m not one of those people that thrive on uncertainty and like the chase, I don’t like change, so much that I don’t even like the idea of my parents not being in Perth! I just want to get rid of all my doubts and face my new career head on.

But gosh I will miss them. For the past 6 years, I’ve never been more present at their school, in their classes, they love it and I feel so bad that they may be missing out on this again. I really will try harder this next round, but I know it will be tough because I want to prove that I can make it in the private sector, that their choice and mine weren’t wrong.

Saitaoha couldn’t open her eyes because of the sun. It was such a bright and sunny morning, I was almost sure the weather forecast got it wrong when they predicted rain and showers in the afternoon. But lo and behold, I’m waiting to pick them up from school and dark clouds are looming low and strong winds. Sigh, I hope I make it back with the girls before it rains.

Sometimes I feel like I’m really quite a useless human being, I can’t even be confident about driving, I am afraid and nervous about so many things. How can I tell my girls that they should always be brave and courageous and face obstacles head on? Maybe what I should be telling them is that they should always be brave and courageous, because no matter what happens, mummy will be a blanket to catch them should they fall.

Let’s make the most of my last liberation week!

Liberation Notes

A Friday brunch with R, I booked a table at Sparrows Nest which I’ve never managed to go to due to crowds, but it was a disappointment. Everything was too heavy, jelat and the coffee was also not a favourite. But it was still a nice morning running errands with R since we seldom get to spend time together without the kids.

A pigeon (?) husband and wife duo have made a nest above our garage, I have a feeling they will have chicks soon.

Heading out into the city, Saitaomei said ‘look at the orange sky!’

Haha I don’t know why I didn’t even take photos of the beef stew that we had. We seldom go into Northbridge nowadays so it was a treat to have Vietnamese.

I always thought Hanabing would be overrated but this taro soft serve was the bomb! Would love to have it again maybe for my birthday haha. That’s how seldom we go into Northbridge.

Father’s Day morning, waking papa up with their cards and presents.

R chose Subiaco as our breakfast destination, it’s not a very happening suburb but was still nice to explore my uni frequent haunt. How times have changed, it’s no longer bustling and hustling I think because the fresh fruit markets have been demolished. Im hoping it will be restored to its past glory soon.

We had a roast dinner for Father’s Day, I don’t think the other papas were particularly keen but my ah pa likes my roast dinners and he trumps all other papas lah.

My parents are flying out to Kuching end of this week and I already received my first induction training invite , it feels like my liberation days are going to be over soon 🥲.

During Father’s Day, we were out shopping when Saitaoha told me:

👧🏻: mummy I bought a robot for $100, this is not Saitaomei, this is my robot (taps Saitaomei on the head)

🧒🏻: (robot voice) I … am… a … robot …

👧🏻: My robot can dance when I press a button and say dance! And it stops when I say stop! Robot dance!!

🧒🏻: (starts dancing and kicking her legs about)

👧🏻: stop!

🧒🏻: (stops dancing and stands still)

They spend the rest of the morning playing this, the robot was extremely good, quiet and followed all instructions.

👧🏻: mummy I think this robot is very good, it can probably help you clean the house.

I was quite skeptical about the house cleaning. In the afternoon I noticed Saitaomei was no longer being a robot.

👩🏻: hey Saitaomei how come you’re not a robot anymore ?

🧒🏻： ya I’m Saitaomei now. I don’t think I can be a robot anymore. You see, Gung Gung loves me a lot, and he will miss me if I’m a robot and be sad if I’m no longer Saitaomei. So I am Saitaomei now.

👩🏻: …….

How nice it must be to be so secure about your Gung Gung’s love. Even as I’m typing this both of them are out in the garden feasting on durians! Both of them are 最佳拍档！

Liberation Notes #Day 2

Playing with my Saitaomei in my father’s garden.

Menu choice of flower soup, leaf soup and grass soup 😂.

Baking a lemon syrup loaf, my father’s lemon plant yields small lemons but they’re so juicy and gorgeous.

It was a baking day, orange chiffon cake because my sister says it’s her favourite.