Archive for August, 2019


Saitaoha is at the age where she’s starting to understand morals and values. She gets lectured by me quite a bit about manners, thoughtfulness and kindness. I hope to bring up the kids to be kind, filial, empathetic and considerate adults. Sometimes I feel sorry for her because ‘she’s just a kid’ but other times I think it’s important to teach her these values from young. She has been doted on by my parents since young and is her father’s precious little girl, this little girl of mine is rather spoilt and demanding so I need to be the bad cop!

There are days though that I feel I should cut her some slack because she is a sweetie.

Case in point, Saitaomei is running a fever and super cranky. I’m busy warming warming up milk for both of them when Saitaoha comes running up to me.

🧒🏻: Mummy why is mei mei crying?

👩🏻: mei mei is sick Saitaoha. She’s not feeling well.

🧒🏻: is it she has a temperature ?

👩🏻: (thinking wah this kid quite cheem) yes Saitaoha. So you have to help mummy ok? I’m making milk for both of you and need to make mei mei sleep so you have to look after yourself.

🧒🏻: ok mummy. You sleep with mei mei and nobody sleep with me. I look after myself and you look after mei mei. You get some rest Mummy and mei mei rest too.

👩🏻: … (stunned and a bit heartbroken at the words nobody sleep with me)

So yes, Saitaoha is really a sweetheart sometimes.

Hard stuff

My first meeting of the day is located at the other end of town where R works so I tumpang-ed his car to the meeting location. I arrived way too early so decided to have a coffee and organise my thoughts for the meeting.

Work has been emotionally taxing, office politics at an all time high. Lots of plotting and emotionally charged discussions. I think it wouldn’t be that bad if it weren’t for our passion for the project. It’s too important to walk away, yet sometimes it gets a bit too much and you just want to say I’ve had enough.

I’ve always witnessed office politics at the highest spectrum and managed to manoeuvre around it so I’m never directly involved. But this one is just hitting me right in the bullseye, and as much as I wanted to avoid the conflict, it was inevitable and I had THE talk on Friday. I’m not sure it amounted to much but a line in the sand was drawn. Enough with the treading on eggshells and circling around your feelings.

Sigh. Being hard is so hard.

Love of cooking

Hello Gung Gung? Where are my fruits?

This little girl has grown up overnight. She’s at a delightful stage, so cute and so much fun.

Saitaoha is such a girly girl. All about dresses, princesses and pink. It worries me a little and I try to talk to her about not having to wear dresses all the time, but I reckon she will outgrow it.

We went for her kindy briefing at her school yesterday. The kindy’s education philosophy? Learning through play! I love it that the kids are encouraged to play and be kids. They have a lifetime of curriculum and cramming books ahead of them, why not let them just be children, they are only so little once. This probably explains why Saitaoha loves school so much.

#daitaoha cooks or #daitaoha bento don’t feature much nowadays. Not because I’m not cooking but I just don’t take much pictures nowadays.

I was thinking the other day that I’m so thankful that I learned to cook and love to cook. It all started because I wanted to cook my then boyfriend’s favourite dish for him and went on from there. I’ve always cooked and baked because I want to feed my loved ones their favourite things and it’s still very much the same today.

My first attempt at a Swiss roll, I’m mighty pleased! I will be making more of these in future 😀.

Musings on the bus

On the bus. There’s a Korean lady behind me chatting on her mobile. I recognise some of the Korean words from her conversation. The everyday phrases that seem to pepper our daily conversations. Really? Of course! You’re right. Well done. Are you crazy? What?

I smile to myself. I’ve been watching too many korean dramas.

I’ve been feeling pretty awful about myself lately. Whenever I look in the mirror I see this bloated whale that can’t fit into her clothes nicely. I miss wearing nice and pretty dresses. I wish I had more willpower. I will just keep trying. The upcoming holiday in two months is good motivation, I am really looking forward to it.

Work rotates between being terrifying at the mammoth task ahead and satisfaction at the daily progress. Some days I think we are on the right track and can actually achieve success, other days I am weighed down by self doubt. But it’s still important work so I am happier.

Ok end of bus ride. Good day!

Woo hoo

I’m on the bus on the way back to work after my neurosurgeon appointment. The doctor told me that my MRI scans should that my disc protrusions have ‘spontaneously regressed’ and I’m pretty much completely recovered!!

Woo hoo, no need for back surgery and no need for future appointments. I’m so relieved and thankful that this dark and bleak period of my life is over!!

August 2019