Archive for May, 2018

Mind over matter

The message I received ☝️just as I was to head out the door for Saitaoha’s daycare drop off. I was so tempted to call the daycare to say she wasn’t coming in, but I knew I would regret being such a wimp, so I grit my teeth and headed out.

I tried a new route today, using the highway! It’s a little bit faster and less roundabouts and traffic lights, but faster speed limit and yep, we were caught in the thunderstorm πŸ˜“. I kept calm and drove slowly throughout, I rather get there late but safe.

Luckily the kids were angels in the car even though Saitaoha cried at drop off again. Her eyes were red by the time we parked, she looked at me and whimpered ‘gung gung Mah Mah?’ I shook my head no, then she said ‘papa?’ Poor girl was listing all her saviours to save her from daycare! I can’t tell my Ah pa this story or else he might feel so guilty that he will cart back a teddy bear from Malaysia.

Anyhow, we survived. I’m just hoping it won’t storm again when I pick her up!

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Broken coffee machine

Most days I think I can do this. It’s not so bad to be a SAHM with two kids, I get to spend ample time with my kids, I am there to feed, clothe, nurture and mother them. I get to witness all the smiles, the giggles, Saitaoha’s expanding vocabulary and Saitaomei’s meerkat grins. In fact, I’m part of the smiles and giggles, that’s the best part, to know you’re capable of lighting up your child’s face, that despite your major flaws, your impatience and your temper, they forgive and forget. They love you.

I know that I can’t do this for long though. At night when they fall asleep, sometimes close to midnight, despite feeling totally exhausted and deprived of sleep, I still sneak out to the living room for that half an hour of reading, or surfing dayre, something that is not mummy related. I just need to not be mummy for a little while. And that’s why I know I need to return to work.

Last night was a bad night, Saitaomei couldn’t fall back to sleep from 3am and lasted till 6am! Why do they torture you when you’re at your most weak and vulnerable stage? I raised my voice at her ‘go to sleep Saitaomei! You will wake jeje up!’ Reasoning with a six month old as if she would understand , I was obviously very very tired.

The morning after always wear me out because I’m so grumpy and lethargic. I feel bad because it’s not my kids’ fault that lack of sleep brings out the worst in me. I dislike this side of me so much.

The electrician calls to tell me that he can’t fix our coffee machine. It take a huge effort for me to bite my tongue and not snap ‘thanks for telling me that after holding the machine hostage for two months!’ Little things like that irk me so much more with lack of sleep.

I hope the rest of the week flies by.

Happy girls

Papa! Toys! Papa! Toys!

So happy because papa is playing with her.

Saitaomei is also very happy because she getting a foot massage from mummy.

I feel so lucky to have my two girls πŸ’•.

Golden rainy days

We’ve been having thunderstorms in Perth and I love it! There’s something so cozy about huddling at home with husband and kids while the rain patters away outside. I love the sound of rain.

We actually ventured out to the shops even with the rain. Both kids fell asleep so R and I could even indulge in a sit down coffee and muffin for afternoon tea. Then we went home and pottered around the house doing housework and playing with the kids.

Dinner tonight was lamb steak with asparagus, sweet potato mash and pumpkin soup. Winter food I think.

Saitaomei staring intently at her first solid, she had some sweet potato mash too, only hers was mixed with breastmilk.

I think she liked it! I shall try her with avocado tomorrow, that was Saitaoha’s favourite food when she was a baby. R and I agree that babies at 6-12 months are at their cutest, he was kissing her today and saying we need to savour these golden days.

Lovely family day πŸ’•.

Saitaomei is 6 months old

Herrow. This is me signature solemn look. I am trying to look mature because I’m very big now, I’m six months old! My mummy says I commemorated turning six months by refusing to sleep till 6am!

Nowadays I’m actually a lot more smiley and chuckle when my parents play with me. Mummy loves my giggles and can’t help smiling at me even when I give her my Ms Meerkat grin at 6am.

My favourite person has to be my jeje Saitaoha. I think I’m slowly worming my way into her heart! Today when she woke up, her first question as usual was ‘where’s papa?’ BUT her second question was ‘where’s mei mei?’ She even voluntarily gave me hugs today, so happy !!!

My mummy says papa said we had to get me a cake today (even though I can’t eat it so I think it’s more like for them loh *roll eyes*) since jeje had one every single month before she turned one. Cannot second child syndrome and neglect me you know.

Sigh this was the best photo they took of me and the cake. As you can see, my greedy guts jeje already had her fingers in the cake. She enjoyed the cake the most and wished me happy birthday πŸŽ‰. Mummy says every other photo of us four was a major fail because our eyes were al on the cake. Jeje and I are going to be foodies when we grow up.

Otherwise it was a lovely intimate celebration for me. Mummy said her heart felt full tonight and that she loves us very very much.

Let mummies sleep

Arrrrgh. Terrible night. BOTH kids woke up in the middle of the night around 3 am and just went ballistic. Saitaoha had a meltdown and was just screaming for milk and mummy (best combi huh?). To R’s credit, he woke up despite only going to bed at midnight (had to work after dinner) and prepared milk for her. But nope, even with milk bottle in hand Saitaoha was wailing ‘mummy mummy mummy’.

This didn’t help my trying to get Saitaomei back to sleep efforts next door. I swear we have brick walls but her cries were ringing in my ears. I’m sure our entire street heard her. This arks up Saitaomei who starts ek ek ek -ing too.

So it’s now 5am and Saitaomei is still awake. πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“ I’ve been clocking an average of 4-5 hours disrupted sleep since my parents are away. This must be a new all time low. I dream of checking into a hotel and sinking into one of those gorgeous hotel grade beds and falling into a deep deep slumber. I don’t have to get up every 2 hours, my body doesn’t have to be on alert mode, no musical chairs, no restless babies and screaming toddlers. Just a deep sleep for at least 8 hours, Ahhh what a dream.

Ok back to mummy duties. I hope the rest of the world is having a nice sleep.

Driving to the shops

No venture no gain! Bought myself a bubble tea (I’m not even s bb tea fan but I wanted something to commemorate the event haha) as a reward for driving to the shops with both kids in tow.

To most people, driving to the nearby shops might seem like an easy peasy task, but for someone like me who has a morbid fear of driving, it’s a mammoth task! I was feeling bad about my sister having to help pick up Saitaoha from daycare yesterday. And instead of going over to her place to pick up Saitaoha (already considerably nearer compared to the child care centre), I chose the easy way out and waited for R to return from work before we both went to pick her up. When he was walked in visibly tired after a long day at work, I immediately regretted not driving on my own and making him have to drive out again after coming home. I hated myself for being a burden to my family just because I am a nervy driver.

In my mind I was gearing myself up to go to the shops the next day. But even so, I kept making excuses in my heart e.g. maybe R will drive the car with the car seats to work.

But I did drive out today, it was a quick nip in to Aldi to grab some necessities (and bubble tea). The girls were angels, Saitaoha chose to sit in the stroller and sat in there throughout the shop, Saitaomei was a peach in the baby carrier. Even the cashier helped out by helping me pack my groceries (you have to self pack in Aldi) πŸ˜€.

And best of all, both kids fell asleep on the way home and I made a successful transfer!! I am risking jinxing myself but it feels like a good day already 😁.

***

It was a bit chilly in the morning so I dressed Saitaoha in her new winter robe. She seems to like it a lot, phew, I was a bit worried given her hatred for jackets and coats.

Quiches are great for hiding lots of veggies. This one has asparagus, mushrooms, onions and cherry tomatoes. Saitaoha ate a whole slice by herself for lunch. She’s been eating well lately, thank goodness.

Her treat of Kinder Surprise, she was soooo happy. We took a video to show Mah Mah her egg. She’s been asking me where is Gung Gung Mah Mah, I tell her they’ve gone to work πŸ˜…. Today while watering the plants, Saitaoha staggered to me carrying a little stool and asked me to sit. I asked ah pa and turns out he sits on the stool when he gardens β™₯️. Saitaoha melts us with her sweet gestures sometimes.

She was giggling in delight because her jeje was dancing. She seems to love her jeje but the love is not reciprocated, poor Saitaomei.

Then again, I don’t blame Saitaoha for resenting her sister. Today I was trying to carry and settle Saitaomei who was about to nap. As luck would have it, Saitaoha had to potty at the same time. I was hoping I would have settled Saitaomei by the time Saitaoha was done. Of course that didn’t happen, Saitaoha looked at me and said ‘finish!!’ and was going to get up. I panicked and shrieked ‘wait!!! Wait!’ while thinking where I could put the almost asleep baby. I could hear R’s car coming in the driveway too, so I kept telling Saitaoha not to get up and to wait. Poor girl started crying. Luckily her papa came in just then πŸ˜….

This happens a lot where Saitaoha just has to suck it up because she’s older and I have to handle her mei mei first. She is so cheery and boisterous with her ‘Come on mummy!!’ (when she wants me to play with her’ and her ‘Hi mummy!!’ Sometimes I’m in the bedroom trying to put Saitaomei to sleep, just as her eyelids drop, Saitaoha will come bouncing in ‘HI MUMMY!!’ Eyelids snap open. πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“

Tonight she surprised me though. I was in the other room, it was darkened and I was putting Saitaomei down for the night. Saitaoha came in ‘Hi mummy!’ ‘Saitaoha, mummy is trying to make Mei Mei sleep, sssshhhh ok?’ I put my fingers to my lips.

She nodded, put her fingers to her lips and whispered ‘hi mummy!’ Afterwards she kept peeking in and whispering ‘come on mummy, come Saitaoha’s house’ (her room is her house haha). When I told her I would go to her house later, she nodded and whispered ‘bye mummy!’ then she closed the door behind her!

Wah my Saitaoha is growingup 😭.


May 2018
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