Archive for the 'Daitaoha Earns a Living' Category

Working from home Day 3

Saitaomei enjoying Gung Gung’s cut fruit for afternoon tea
The doting grandparents bought the lucky kids a playground set
She likes me to watch her play.
Gung Gung’s pretty rose bush.
Saitaoha at 4 years one month.
Don’t grow up so fast.

Working from home means spending more time with the kids and family.

It means I get to watch her play on her new playground set. Take pictures of her. I haven’t taken pictures of them in a long time.

Being sick is a pain. Being away from the office has its inconveniences. But working from home definitely had its perks.

Working from home

It’s been a while since I’ve worked from home. I forgot how nice it is to not have to rush to get ready for work, get the girls ready to go to GGMM’s and then rush to get on the next bus or train.

It’s nice working at the dining table and being distracted every now and then by the cute Saitaomei who stops by for a kiss or to show me her toy.

It’s nice being able to actually sit down and type something out without having a colleague coming by to chat with me or going from meeting to meeting.

It’s nice being able to cook a fresh lunch for the kids and the husband and also run the laundry.

Sigh all sorts of niceness about working from home but sadly I don’t see another working from home day in the near future. I was so surprised on Thursday when I checked my calendar and there were no meetings scheduled. ‘How can it be I have no meetings tomorrow?’ I wondered aloud. My lovely teammate then piped up and told me she had purposely tried to keep my Friday free so I could work from home.

‘Please work from home because I don’t think this can happen again in the next couple of months!’ she pleaded. Thank heavens for supportive teammates.

So yes, I’m enjoying my last working from home day whilst I can. Mei mei is riding on my legs as I speak, life is bliss 🙂

Daitaoha earns a living

I’ve been working rather long hours, coming home late and picking the kids up late. It’s always a gut wrenching moment for me when I hear the excited cries of ‘Mummy! Mummy!’ from behind the door when the girls realise that I’ve arrived to pick them up.

My ah ma is undergoing some health problems and is in pain as well. My heart aches when I see her tired face and I feel so bad that she still has to take care of my kids even though she’s not feeling well. I wish I could take time off from work but it’s a crucial period at work, I can barely clock off on time let alone take leave.

Achieving work life balance feels impossible at this stage. It’s Saitaoha’s birthday tomorrow and I haven’t had time to get her a birthday present let alone plan a party for her. We will be having a simple birthday gathering with family and I will cook her chicken soup and sua mee for lunch. I tell myself that this focus at work is worthwhile, it’s what I need to build the next stage of my career. My job has had to take a back seat for the past four years and now I’m trying to get back into the career ladder again.

What is a career and is it worth this sacrifice and the sacrifice of my parents? I’m really not sure. I don’t really care for the kudos at this stage, but I must say I want to earn more money. R says he’s pretty happy where we are now, but I want more. I don’t have the need for luxury goods or fast cars, but I would like to be in a place where I feel I can comfortably provide for my parents and my kids in the future. I want to buy first class tickets for my parents to visit my brother without blinking an eye, I would like to renovate their home or build a new one so it’s more comfortable and safe. So many wants. So many needs.

The next few months will be gruelling and I think I won’t get to see much of my family. I really hope I won’t regret this and my hard work pays off.

Last day

Lately I’ve lost mojo for work because of said difficult person and a boss that refuses to have hard conversations. It’s a situation that makes me question my own personality, working style and capabilities. Is it me? And that the other side of me is furious at having to question my integrity. I’ve prided myself on my work ethics and collaborative leadership style all throughout my career, so who are you to make me question myself?

At the end of the day, I realise this is my own internal shortcomings. I can’t change the situation or that person, but I can change how I deal with the situation. I thought about giving up and just leaving, but then I’ve changed my mind because if I leave, it means I am condoning this behaviour and saying if you behave badly enough, i am just going to give in and give up. Why would you give a lolly and reward a tantrumming spoilt child? I don’t do that to my kids so I won’t do that at the workplace too.

It’s such a good time to take a break and spend quality time with the family and kids! Last day of work before the holidays begin, I am so excited !!

Tired

What an exhausting and disappointing work day.

The flu like symptoms didn’t help and a very cranky sick toddler made me feel like pulling my hair out.

At least it’s Friday tomorrow, but I still have to go to work and deal with the problem that won’t go away. I wish my holiday was here already.

Breathe in and out. It’s a brand new day tomorrow. May it be a better one.

Hard stuff

My first meeting of the day is located at the other end of town where R works so I tumpang-ed his car to the meeting location. I arrived way too early so decided to have a coffee and organise my thoughts for the meeting.

Work has been emotionally taxing, office politics at an all time high. Lots of plotting and emotionally charged discussions. I think it wouldn’t be that bad if it weren’t for our passion for the project. It’s too important to walk away, yet sometimes it gets a bit too much and you just want to say I’ve had enough.

I’ve always witnessed office politics at the highest spectrum and managed to manoeuvre around it so I’m never directly involved. But this one is just hitting me right in the bullseye, and as much as I wanted to avoid the conflict, it was inevitable and I had THE talk on Friday. I’m not sure it amounted to much but a line in the sand was drawn. Enough with the treading on eggshells and circling around your feelings.

Sigh. Being hard is so hard.

New or old ?

I’m starting in a new role today except it feels like an old role because there are lots of familiar faces and it’s an area I used to be heavily involved in.

The task ahead is daunting and I’m nervous. But I like waking up in the day and feeling more invested and motivated in my job.

Time will tell whether it’s a bad move. But it was a move I felt I had to make or I would regret. Things happen for a reason so I hope this is a ‘good’ thing.

I wish my spine would miraculously heal on its own so I didn’t have to live life with an imaginary expiry date.

***

Funny things that Saitaoha says:

(Watching me tickle and play with Saitaomei) Mummy, can it be Saitaoha’s turn to be funny? Mummy can I be funny?

Mummy, can I do homework please? (passes me her phonics book) I am so busy mummy, I do homework!

Mummy, what shape is this? (Pointing at picture of bicycle wheel)

‘Er.. circle ?’ I answer.

Correct! Good job mummy!!

Mummy, can you read me a book?

I’m a bit tired Saitaoha, how about later?

You are NOT tired mummy! Can you read me a book?!


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