Archive for the 'Daitaoha Earns a Living' Category

Last day

Lately I’ve lost mojo for work because of said difficult person and a boss that refuses to have hard conversations. It’s a situation that makes me question my own personality, working style and capabilities. Is it me? And that the other side of me is furious at having to question my integrity. I’ve prided myself on my work ethics and collaborative leadership style all throughout my career, so who are you to make me question myself?

At the end of the day, I realise this is my own internal shortcomings. I can’t change the situation or that person, but I can change how I deal with the situation. I thought about giving up and just leaving, but then I’ve changed my mind because if I leave, it means I am condoning this behaviour and saying if you behave badly enough, i am just going to give in and give up. Why would you give a lolly and reward a tantrumming spoilt child? I don’t do that to my kids so I won’t do that at the workplace too.

It’s such a good time to take a break and spend quality time with the family and kids! Last day of work before the holidays begin, I am so excited !!

Tired

What an exhausting and disappointing work day.

The flu like symptoms didn’t help and a very cranky sick toddler made me feel like pulling my hair out.

At least it’s Friday tomorrow, but I still have to go to work and deal with the problem that won’t go away. I wish my holiday was here already.

Breathe in and out. It’s a brand new day tomorrow. May it be a better one.

Hard stuff

My first meeting of the day is located at the other end of town where R works so I tumpang-ed his car to the meeting location. I arrived way too early so decided to have a coffee and organise my thoughts for the meeting.

Work has been emotionally taxing, office politics at an all time high. Lots of plotting and emotionally charged discussions. I think it wouldn’t be that bad if it weren’t for our passion for the project. It’s too important to walk away, yet sometimes it gets a bit too much and you just want to say I’ve had enough.

I’ve always witnessed office politics at the highest spectrum and managed to manoeuvre around it so I’m never directly involved. But this one is just hitting me right in the bullseye, and as much as I wanted to avoid the conflict, it was inevitable and I had THE talk on Friday. I’m not sure it amounted to much but a line in the sand was drawn. Enough with the treading on eggshells and circling around your feelings.

Sigh. Being hard is so hard.

New or old ?

I’m starting in a new role today except it feels like an old role because there are lots of familiar faces and it’s an area I used to be heavily involved in.

The task ahead is daunting and I’m nervous. But I like waking up in the day and feeling more invested and motivated in my job.

Time will tell whether it’s a bad move. But it was a move I felt I had to make or I would regret. Things happen for a reason so I hope this is a ‘good’ thing.

I wish my spine would miraculously heal on its own so I didn’t have to live life with an imaginary expiry date.

***

Funny things that Saitaoha says:

(Watching me tickle and play with Saitaomei) Mummy, can it be Saitaoha’s turn to be funny? Mummy can I be funny?

Mummy, can I do homework please? (passes me her phonics book) I am so busy mummy, I do homework!

Mummy, what shape is this? (Pointing at picture of bicycle wheel)

‘Er.. circle ?’ I answer.

Correct! Good job mummy!!

Mummy, can you read me a book?

I’m a bit tired Saitaoha, how about later?

You are NOT tired mummy! Can you read me a book?!

Interviews

Today I was on the panel for three interviews that felt like they would never end. Even though the process was painful , I reminded myself that I was lucky to be on the other side of the table. I’ve just agreed to be on the panel for two other job positions, seriously, I’ve got to learn to say no. I was also asked to mentor a staff member ‘what?! Are you sure she wants me as a mentor? What could she learn from me?!’ I exclaimed to my potential mentee’s boss. In the end I also agreed, on the condition that the mentee could reject her boss’s poor choice of her mentor if she didn’t want me 😅.

There are days when I miss my old job. Perhaps not that job itself, but the confidence that comes with the years of experience, the comfort of reliable teammates and the support of great bosses. I do enjoy the independence of my current role, but it does get lonely sometimes. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing or whether I’m doing it right, part and parcel of stepping into new territory I guess.

Ending with a cute (if I may say so) picture of Saitaomei in her new pjs. I’m missing her big sister tonight, I know her papa is missing her too. Ah well, we will have her tomorrow night and indulge ourselves with lots of hugs and kisses.

Working from home

Working from home today with Saitaoha. It brings back memories of when I first started working from home at the end of my first bout of maternity leave.

She was 7 months then and very cheeky. I remember she used to bang on my laptop and once took my work mobile and called a VIP 😅.

I used to send photos of my ‘work mate’ sitting next to me to my colleagues ☝️. My colleagues loved these photos and she developed quite a following.

This time round it’s a lot easier working from home with Saitaoha. Only because my parents have Saitaomei, my work is a lot less hectic and Saitaoha is now a little girl. Instead of banging on my laptop, she took great delight in pointing out all the numbers and alphabets on the keyboard ‘It’s W mummy! Look it’s W!’ She still likes sitting next to me while I work, she watches videos and snacks on nuts, every now or then turning to me to chatter. She also gets off her chair and cooks me a meal on her kitchen set when I’m peckish haha.

Again I’m struck by how lucky I am to have my girls and my family with me.

Bus ride

Quiet in the city because it was 7.30am. I took the bus to work today because my sister couldn’t go in to work. I guess that’s what life will be like post school holidays.

My bus stopped outside Mary Street Bakery so I waltzed in for a coffee.

Their famous donuts looked so good, I bought one for my colleague because it’s his last week at work! He used to be part of my team, which means my team has dwindled to just myself 😭. I have to say I’m not missing the paperwork that comes with managing ppl.

Ah ma sent a photo of my monkey jumping on the bed. That’s her favourite song nowadays.

I’ve been getting ‘you haven’t filled your time sheets’ emails and figured it was sent it error because I haven’t filled one for years and it’s not required for my level. But turns out that this is our new policy, everyone fills out time sheets! I know usually people would be unhappy about that but I’m thrilled because I can now flex days off with my extra time woohoo.

Saitaomei is enjoying her jeje’s lamb.

So happy my bubba. My parents dote on her so much.

See? They bought her another new toy, now she has her own vroom vroom.

Errr…. 😂


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