Naughty little papa

I think all papas need a little daughter to tease and make fun of. I feel sorry for all the long suffering daughters.

πŸ§’πŸ»: Papa, my baby (Saitaomei who she has tucked up with blankets) is sleeping in her crib, so you have to be quiet and not wake up my baby ok?

πŸ‘¦πŸ»: I want to wake up the baby! I’m going to go wake up ! wake up ! wake up ! grrrrrr!!!!

πŸ§’πŸ» : (comes running to me) mummy! What am I going to do with that naughty little papa! He’s going to wake up the baby! I think I have to teach him a lesson …

πŸ§’πŸ»οΌš(runs to papa) papa! I’m going to teach you a lesson ok? You have to be quiet and don’t wake up my baby ok? You have to promise.

πŸ‘¦πŸ»: I promise to wake up the baby.

πŸ§’πŸ»: No! You have to promise not to wake up the baby! I’m teaching you a lesson ok?

πŸ‘¦πŸ»: I promise to wake up the baby ! I will go grrrrrrrrrr…

πŸ§’πŸ»: MUMMY! Papa is so naughty ! What am I going to do with him ?!!

********

Ah ma mentioned that I haven’t been baking for a long time, a sure sign that work has been manic. Even on days when I’m working from home, meetings stretch forever without a break, R gets home and dinner is not started, so he heats up the leftovers himself. My parents are doing lots of overtime care taking too, and we are not getting enough rest so we are taking ages to recover and can’t seem to get well.

I know I’m getting short tempered and wrecked with guilt. But the work can’t stop. I actually find myself missing the early COVID days when things were quiet and I could cook meals for the family and have my daily exercise session.

Pao de Queijo

But I had a restful Sunday for a change and managed to bake some Brazilian cheese puffs. They are really nice fresh out of the oven and very cute too.

Unfortunately the weekend went by too quick and it’s back to the daily grind tomorrow πŸ˜”. I really need a holiday but I think a real holiday is very very far away! Thank heavens most of my family is near so I never feel lonely or miss them too much. The kids tire me out but I have to admit, they brighten my life so much and remind me time and again that life is good and I’m very lucky.

Cycle

Papa R’s birthday

We celebrated R’s birthday earlier this month, wow that feels like ages ago, the days have really flown by.

Poor R, because I’ve been sick and haven’t been out except for short stints to the supermarkets, he didn’t get any birthday presents this year! Even his cake was homemade. But I put in a lot of effort ok, it was a tiramisu Mille crepe cake which took ages in front of the stove and required great patience, of which I have none.

Sigh these two. Best friends. So close they need to hold hands during meals πŸ˜…. She is thoroughly spoilt by Gung Gung and knows it too.

Work has really been ramping up and I’m working longer and longer hours. Working from home also means I never clock off which is really bad for the kids. I felt so bad yesterday when I had to ask ah ma to pick up Saitaoha because she kept disrupting my meeting. Poor girl was in tears and said ‘but I want to stay with you!’

There’s the mum guilt which is ever present, guilty for tending too much to Saitaomei and neglecting Saitaoha, guilty for being impatient and cross with the both of them because I’m in the middle of work or just exhausted. There’s also daughter guilt, my parents can’t rest when I’m working, they’re not well too so I’m all round making everyone suffer because of my work. I really don’t know whether this is worth it.

As usual the whole household is down with illness. The cycle never ends, and you don’t even know who is patient zero anymore. Last night I even hung an extra set of pjs in the bathroom and put an empty basin next to my bed in case Mei threw up again.

Luckily my dark moments never last long because they are just too cute.

The other day Saitaoha asked me to play with her because ‘I has no one to play with’. I said ‘how about Xiu Xiu (her toy rabbit’?’ She gave me this incredulous look and said ‘but she’s a doll mummy πŸ™„.’ Oops.

Slump

Aaargh work has been so frustrating lately. I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it’s just not happening. Nothing much I can do but grit my teeth and slog ahead. But now I’m down with this annoying cold which has been in the household for months, so I can’t go to to the office. Worst timing.

It’s the long weekend and I’ve been telling myself to get off my arse and work. But instead we’ve been huddled at home, late meals, late nights and lots of games with the kids. The days just slip away and I still haven’t done any work sigh.

Does anyone hate reading the news lately? All the Covid news is enough, but Trump has truly gone mad and is everything that everyone predicted he would be when he was elected.

I still remember the day he won, we were in the office and glued on the computer reading the news. When it was inevitable that he won, we just slumped back in disbelief. What has the world come to? How can this guy be the leader of the free country? What will this mean for the morals of the world? How can this guy lead the world?

And now we know. ηΎŽε›½ζ²¦ι™·δΊ†. I mourn for the world that we used to live in where it wasn’t so difficult to tell between black and white, good and bad. You are told and shown you can bluff and bully your way out of things and there are no repercussions. Humanity is lost and humankind is the worst of all evil. Oh gosh my head hurts.

We really need something to hope and pray for now.

Look it’s Mummy coming !

Waiting for pizzas at Costco

R and I were sucked in by the hype of giant American sized Costco pizzas and decided that we would grab one for dinner one day. Today was the day and I found myself wearily waiting in line for my pizza and hoping that the cranky Saitaomei wouldn’t act up. She’s knee deep in terrible two behaviour lately and whilst she doesn’t go into meltdowns like Saitaoha did, she is generally whiny, cries at a drop of a hat and is very demanding.

I kept sneaking peeks at them from behind, and to my amusement, we had eye contact and the kids starting laughing and clapping. I realised they were playing a game of spot the mummy and taking turns to say ‘Look! It’s Mummy! Mummy’s coming!’ then clapping their hands in delight.

Other patrons in line were amused at their happy clapping and laughs. At one point the ‘It’s mummy!’ changed to ‘Pizza! Pizza!’ chanting and claps and I wondered whether the staff felt any pressure to churn out the pizzas faster.

At that moment I felt truly blessed to have such lovely affectionate kids that are so delighted at the mere sight of their mummy. I know this will not last forever and one day I may cease to be the most important person in their lives, but for now, it is so humbling to be the love of the life of my girls. Saitaoha says ‘but I will miss you mummy!’ when I’m gone for 5 minutes, they give me kisses and hugs and tell me they love me, they fight for my attention and to sit next to me, Saitaoha pretends to be my hairdresser and brushes my hair till it’s sleek and shiny everyday. My beautiful, vibrant daughters shower me with love and affection everyday, something that I’m not sure I deserve but I’m grateful for. It’s golden days with the girls. I am truly lucky.

Grateful days

COVID hasn’t been easy but I’ve mostly been grateful. Grateful to still have a job, grateful to have my family close by, grateful to be able to spend more time with the kids and husband, grateful that life has slowed down and allowed me to restart an exercise regime.

But mostly I’m grateful for this.

Playing with Saitaomei and her new cubby house.
Coffee barista or tea lady?
Evenings at Gung Gung and Mah Mah’s
Hogging the yoga mat but no sign of moving
Finally getting up!
Not bad. Single leg planking.
Happy to get out but she didn’t know it was for her flu shot! Was easily bribed with a jellybean though.
Boo!
Endless rounds of hide and seek. They never tire of this classic game.
Child labour.

They both scrambled up on the dinner table once they realised I was going to peel eggs. Both did a good job πŸ‘. Saitaoha said ‘mummy, we are big girls now. We can help you.’ It was both touching and heart wrenching at the same time. They’ve grown so much and really are big girls now. But I wish they were my babies forever.

Ahhhhhh…..

R: know what this is?

Me: err icecream stick?

R to Saitaoha: Saitaoha what is this?

Saitaoha: Tongue depressor

R: (laughs) haha icecream stick ….πŸ˜‚

Me: wah Saitaoha so smart

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. – Charles Dicken, Tale of two cities

Happy Mother’s Day

Daitaoha 4 years 2 months old

I had one of the best Mother’s Day yet! I was a bit worried that it wouldn’t be a good one because I’ve been having bad migraines so I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to cook Mother’s Day dinner for Ah Ma. But it all cleared up today and I’m feeling much better!

Saitaomei didn’t get the memo that it was Mother’s Day though and kept getting up and whining throughout the night. I ended up sleeping in because I was so knackered, but R woke me up with a coffee that he made for me! What a nice way to wake up.

We had a quiet day at home, did some homework with Saitaoha and realised that I’m not a very good teacher. I knew I wasn’t teaching her in the right way and was being way too impatient, but frustration got in the way and I ended up sending her to sleep before trying again after her nap. Poor girl is not well and has a bad cough. I know that this will eventually spread through the family and I will be down in the dumps again sigh.

Hand made flowers and a sweet card

Back to better things! I received a lovely present from R, necklace and earrings and Saitaoha had already given me my hand drawn card as early as last week haha. Both girls gave me big hugs and wished me Happy Mother’s Day, Saitaomei knew it was an occasion of some sort and kept wishing me happy birthday too haha.

Chirashi for dinner

HC treated us to sashimi for dinner and we had yummy bowls of chirashi for dinner. It was sooo delicious and worth skipping meals the whole day (not intentional).

I think Ah Ma liked our present of an iPad mini, she is a gadget fiend and very tech savvy. I know some thing Mother’s Day is overhyped but I personally love it that there’s a special day in the year where we can show gratitude and love towards our Ah Ma. I hope Ah Ma felt loved and knows that we appreciate her a lot.

R and I have had our ups and downs over the years but surprisingly COVID has been a good time for us because we are standing strong together during tough times and also enjoying more time together and with the kids.

Today was another one of those days when I felt really contented with my loved ones and my life in general.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers that I know and especially to my super Ah Ma/Mah Mah πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•.

Getting into a groove

It feels like the week has just flown by! I don’t even recall what I did, just lots of time with the kids and husband, pretty much stayed at home with a bout to the supermarket every now and then.

Salted egg yolk chicken

Working from home is great because I get to cook a lot more and even have time for a daily workout. It’s been ages since I’ve had an exercise routine and I’ve missed how good it makes you feel afterwards. My body aches as it’s been lazy for so long but I feel stronger everyday. I’m hoping I can keep this going even when I return to work in the office in the future. I know it will be difficult because I’m usually so busy with the kids and dinner prep when I’m back from work, exercise time is really an indulgence for me. So I’m going to make the most of it while I can.

The kids enjoy exercising with me! They’re so cute especially mei mei who says ‘mummy what are you doing?’ then proceeds to copy my movements and says ‘look mummy I do it!’. The only problem is they hog my yoga mat so I end up being in the floor :(.

School term opens

School is open again but we are keeping the kids at home till the COVID situation subsides. It’s been fun and interesting doing the online classes with Saitaoha, I like seeing how she is usually taught by her teachers and it’s always nice to teach a child who loves learning.

A lot has changed in the past few months but I think we are starting to get into a comfortable groove. I feel like we’ve had a break from the hustle and bustle of our busy lives. A forced break with some not so nice consequences but nevertheless, it’s been a relief to slow down and breathe for a change.

Tough times

R was told by his boss today that their workplace will be closed indefinitely from the start of next week. His hours had been cut drastically prior to this announcement and to be honest, business was dwindling even with reduced hours. Government has put restrictions on the supply of their services, and no one is really leaving their house except for essentials, so their company has been hard hit. Whilst this was to be expected in light of COVID-19, what irks me the most is the fact that R will not be entitled to any Government support. Like all rushed policies and legislation, there are loopholes where people fall through the gaps, unfortunately, R will  falls within the cracks.

It is frustrating that the hard workers, the investors, the middle-upper middle class are the ones that don’t get any support in times of need, and yet when the country is out of this rut, the very same class of workers are the ones that will bear the brunt of the recovery. R is the most responsible and reliable (to a fault in fact) worker I know, he doesn’t spend much and throws any savings into our mortgage repayments and the like. This is the reason why despite all the COVID implications, I believe we are well placed to weather the storm. But it feels so unfair that dole bludgers get more dole, yet responsible workers get no help when they’re out of a job. Sigh.

Ranting aside, I know I should be thankful that I still have a job. Who knew that I would one day be the sole breadwinner of the family?

I’m praying and wishing that R will keep positive during this tough time. He’s such a workaholic and puts so much of himself in his work that I fear he will be lost and depressed for some time. This is when family comes in and props him up . I hope the kids and I will be a source of positivity for him.

Oh for the sun to shine again …

Big people don’t cry

Saitaoha: Mummy why are you crying?

Me: Mummy’s mah mah passed away.

Saitaoha: Is it my mah mah died? 😒

Me: No, not your mah mah, mummy’s mah mah.

Saitaoha: Mummy, big people don’t cry.

Me: Ok, give me a hug.

Saitaoha: Mummy is it you cry because your mah mah died ?

Me: Yes.

Saitaoha: How did she die? Is it like Elsa? Is it she is in bed?

Me: Yes. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Saitaoha: Is she better now?

Me: Yes. She is better now.

Covid Easter

Xiu xiu and Easter

It was a very different Easter holiday. We should have been in Adelaide with the in laws and R’s family, but instead we spent most of Easter holed up at home with the kids.

Saitaoha and Saitaomei painting Easter bunnies

Saitaoha and Saitaomei are lucky to have aunties that dote on them a lot and are always buying them things to play with. They enjoyed painting these bunnies so much that I went out to buy watercolours for them to paint more in the future.

Look of concentration
Smile Saitaomei and she gives me a grimace 😬
Easter egg hunting
They had lots of fun
Dalgona coffee

I jumped on the Dalgona coffee bandwagon and made a few glasses for ah ma, R and myself. Probably won’t have it again but it was interesting and worth a try.

We also finally built the cubby house! It took a lot longer than expected because we painted it and all, R is a perfectionist when it comes to things like that but I think the final product was pretty.

Icecream seller

My little ahjummas selling their wares. I hope they have fun in this house for years to come. Papa did lights for them and everything.

Ah ma made lek tau suan which was so comforting and good, especially with yew char kueh!

Made these salmon and sweet potato patties but the kids didn’t like them! Being at home so much makes my hands itch to cook and bake more but we have too much food at home so ah ma has forbidden me to cook anymore. Sigh.

I had to stop by the office so we brought the kids out for a drive. Poor isolated babies were like country bumpkins and wowing are all the lights and buildings. We must make an effort to bring them out for a drive and see the outdoors now and then.

So it was a very different sort of Easter, but I still enjoyed not having to think about work and being able to just spend time with the family.

I


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