Hello happy days

Good morning sleepyhead.

Are you laughing at my bed hair?

Do you think papa will bring me to the playground today if I say pretty please?

I will flash him my best smile and I’m sure he will say yes!

Feeling lazy and contented because I managed to vacuum my parents’ floors and cook them lunch. It was only indo mee with bacon and a sunny side up, but in my lousy physical state, I’m glad that I can still complete meagre tasks.

I was patting Saitaoha and feigning sleep (to encourage her to nap) when I felt her little fingers tracing my face πŸ’•. I peeked at her and saw that her eyelids were getting heavy. She propped her legs against mine, her fingers rubbing her Xiu Xiu’s ears, a giveaway that she’s feeling very very sleepy. The gentle sunlight streams in from the window and I can hear the trees swaying in the wind outside. It’s a beautiful day in Perth today.

Her hand drops from Xiu Xiu and her long eyelashes fall across her rosy cheeks. Success. The toddler is asleep. Her t-shirt is emblazoned with the words Hello Happy Days. Hello Happy Days indeed. Gotta love lazy Saturday afternoons.


Ruptured ligament

My to-do list from yesterday’s post? Didn’t even manage to tick off a single one! So babies are not winter ready and Saitaomei is bursting out of her clothes πŸ˜“. Sigh, maybe I will get round to it tomorrow.

Instead R and I spent the day on bank errands and an unscheduled medical appointment. My ultrasound and X-ray results are back. I didn’t break any bones, but I managed to completely rupture a ligament. SIGH. I knew it was a particularly bad fall but it still really sucks to get the results. The worse part is they found a cyst (probably due to the acute trauma from the fall) and now want me to go for an MRI to rule out cancer ?! I think the medical staff here might be overly cautious but R told me to just get a scan to get a diagnosis. So more scans and doctor appointments await. Can I just say SIGH πŸ˜”

The doctor told me that my ruptured ligament can’t be fixed unless by surgery. He said it wouldn’t affect my day to day mobility though and wouldn’t recommend surgery unless I’m a competitive athlete (I tried not to scoff when he said that).

I wasn’t especially upset when I heard the bad news. Maybe it was because R was next to me and he’s the very practical sort who will move on to solutions rather than make sympathetic noises that would make me feel sorry for myself and reduce me to mush (to be honest sometimes I wish he was more expressive and emotional, but this stoid nature of his comes in good stead during medical emergencies).

Now that I’ve had time to ponder, it does feel rather depressing that there’s something broken in my body that can’t heal on its own. It may take up to 6 to 12 months for my mobility to return to normal (or as normal as it can be). Now that hurts. I really hate not being able to do physical stuff like bending down to wipe floors, or give the babies a bath. I also can’t stand on my feet for long without feeling sore and have resorted to sitting down and cutting vegetables during kitchen prep. I have to think twice about where I sit, or walk, because it might not be easy to get up, steep slopes or uneven pathways are difficult. I can’t really carry the babies for long, I’m slow, I can’t run after the active Saitaoha. I can’t help my parents do housework or mop the floors. My ankle feels like it’s going to give away sometimes and I’m so unbalanced it’s not funny.

I took all the above and more for granted.

I wanted to write this down because when this is all over (surely my luck has to turn soon ?) I would like to read this post to remind me that I survived this rough patch.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The weakness in my feet can only be overcome by the strength of my spirit. So I will εŠ ζ²Ήε•¦οΌ

Watermelon πŸ‰

Happy baby gets all the attention today because jeje has gone to daycare.

Baby has new daddy?

We invited my BIL to join us for lunch. He is a super daddy and is always very attentive to Tristan. It was so nice of him to offer to carry Saitaomei so I could eat.

Happy BIL because he gets to order food that he wants to try (instead of ordering food that his child will share and eat) for a change.

It’s our favourite noodle place, their spicy big intestines noodles was πŸ‘.

I had my usual dan dan mian.

Quickly cooked mushroom and spinach risotto for dinner so Saitaoha could have some once she returns from daycare. She’s usually famished when she’s back but I was worried she wouldn’t eat it since she’s on a food strike nowadays. She ate a bowl πŸ™πŸ».

Enjoying some watermelon for supper. She loves watermelon and this was was extra special because it’s from ah pa’s garden! Super sweet and juicy, better than store bought 😍.

Check out R’s pained expression. I reckon that’s what daddies are best for, physical horsing around. If I had to do pull ups with Saitaoha, I would probably land on my back and crush her πŸ˜….

Whatcha lookin’ at?

Is it Friday yet???

Finally Friday tomorrow, I hope I get some time to bake a cake, pack Saitaoha’s old clothes, take out some clothes for Saitaomei (she’s growing so big!) and bring Saitaoha to the playground.

Sigh I always have these plans but they never seem to work out, ζ—Άι—΄δΈε€Ÿη”¨οΌ

Terrible twos

I’ve never been one to read parenting books and the like. But now I’m so desperate for some parenting advice I might start googling for books to teach you how to deal with terrible twos. Anyone has any recommendations?

My mummy friends (and sisters) tell me it’s a phase and I just have to wait it out. But maybe if I understand why she’s acting this way it will help me be a more patient and better mummy? Right now I feel like a total failure.

Saitaoha is eating and sleeping badly. She has impossible tantrums and is so naughty. When I lost my temper at her, ah Ma explained to her that mummy was angry.

She knew she was in trouble and kept trying to get me to play with her. But I ignored her, she looked disappointed, resigned and muttered ‘mummy angry’ a few times. I felt like my heart was breaking. How do I let her know that this behaviour is not acceptable? How do I discipline a two year old? I really don’t want to be angry mummy all the time!

On another note, my feet are killing me. I can’t believe how long it is taking me to recover. The only positive I can think of from this injury is that I will be a lot more appreciative of my mobility when I recover!

Musical chairs

Hiding under the covers pretending to be asleep whilst waiting for Saitaoha to fall asleep πŸ˜…. Major fail, accidentally fell asleep. Luckily I woke up in a start, woo hoo, checked on the kid, she’s out for the night. Her papa was out like a light ages ago, can’t blame him. Saitaoha woke up crying many times last night asking for me, I was in the room next door with Saitaomei. So we had to switch kids several times during the night. It was like playing zombie like silent musical chairs. In the end he stayed with Saitaomei, but she was unsettled from 4.30-6.30 am, after that he went straight to work! I had the luxury of going over to ah ma’s where she had made me a cup of ah Huat kopi.

Ah ma has Saitaomei tonight, her back is better but I’m a bit worried. I haven’t been resting my feet so my left foot is still quite sore and swollen. I had my ultrasound today and they asked me to do an X-ray because apparently there’s still a lot of fluid for a week old injury. I think the X-rays didn’t find anything serious but I’ll find out in a couple of days.

I wish I could join the sleeping gang, but I have forms to fill. The last of them I hope 🀞🏻.

Ending with a photo that ah Ma took of gung gung conversing with Saitaomei. She loves chatting with her Gung Gung, he might be her favourite man πŸ’•. He’s my favourite too.


Mummy, where are you going ??

Ya mummy, where are you going?

Mummy legged it this morning and left the kids with the grandparents. It really was to run an errand but on my way back, Ah Ma wrote to say both kids were napping and not to come home. πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ Really ah? Wah like given a jail break card!

It was fortunate that R didn’t have to go to work in the morning and was with me, so we looked at each other and said ‘breakfast?’ The notion of both of us going out for brunch alone was so exhilarating. It was equally amazing that we both thought of the same place for brunch too.

Harvest Espresso, our favourite cafe Before Child days. It was a hot day so we both had iced matcha lattes, quite nice too.

R’s egg Benedict with ham.

Simple breakfast fare but so good when done well.

I can never go past a French toast, this one was lovely! Butterscotch sauce, warm banana slices, brioche French toast and the yummy crunch of granola. Wah I don’t know whether it’s been too long since I’ve had hot outside food which I can actually enjoy in leisure, but it was great!

We bought some coffee beans to try out our coffee machine at home, the beans smelled so good but I couldn’t get the machine to work 😭. Shall give it a clean and try again tomorrow.

Jumping in muddy puddles. Only gung gung would be indulgent enough to actually make puddles on the ground for her to jump in πŸ˜….

Gung gung teaching his little apprentice in the garden how to water grass.

Ooh doing it on her own, she was thrilled.

Doesn’t she look little here?

We had a nice time in the garden admiring gung gung’s flowers.

Pretty roses.

θŠ±εΌ€θŠ±ε―Œθ΄΅.The kid smelling the roses.

At first I thought it was going to be a crummy day of running errands but as R put it ‘sometimes you can turn a bad day into a good day’. It was a good day!

Angry mummy

The calm after the storm.

Saitaoha in a contemplative mood after a terrible two tantrum of epic proportion. What was the trigger? She struggled to open her water bottle. Yep. That was it, cue a storm of tears and demanding of milk. I knew she didn’t need or want the milk, asking for milk is her go to comfort action, similar to her dummy or Xiu Xiu. I still made the milk anyway, to have her reject it with a toss of her tear streaked head.

It brought out the red eyed monster in me. The one that snaps and loses her temper and snarls at her 2 year old who really just needed a nap after a really bad night. Sometimes I feel that motherhood has morphed me into someone so alien and unpalatable. I am impatient, I get irrationally angry, I can’t control my temper at all. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. What kind of horrible mother am I?

Some days I think I can do this. Today I stared at my Saitaoha who lay quietly in her cot and stared back at me with her round, doleful eyes, eyelashes still wet from the earlier crying fit. I silently told her that I was sorry in my heart, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Some days I think I can do this. Today my feet hurt, my head hurts and my heart aches.

March 2018
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