Naughty little papa

I think all papas need a little daughter to tease and make fun of. I feel sorry for all the long suffering daughters.

🧒🏻: Papa, my baby (Saitaomei who she has tucked up with blankets) is sleeping in her crib, so you have to be quiet and not wake up my baby ok?

👦🏻: I want to wake up the baby! I’m going to go wake up ! wake up ! wake up ! grrrrrr!!!!

🧒🏻 : (comes running to me) mummy! What am I going to do with that naughty little papa! He’s going to wake up the baby! I think I have to teach him a lesson …

🧒🏻：(runs to papa) papa! I’m going to teach you a lesson ok? You have to be quiet and don’t wake up my baby ok? You have to promise.

👦🏻: I promise to wake up the baby.

🧒🏻: No! You have to promise not to wake up the baby! I’m teaching you a lesson ok?

👦🏻: I promise to wake up the baby ! I will go grrrrrrrrrr…

🧒🏻: MUMMY! Papa is so naughty ! What am I going to do with him ?!!

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Ah ma mentioned that I haven’t been baking for a long time, a sure sign that work has been manic. Even on days when I’m working from home, meetings stretch forever without a break, R gets home and dinner is not started, so he heats up the leftovers himself. My parents are doing lots of overtime care taking too, and we are not getting enough rest so we are taking ages to recover and can’t seem to get well.

I know I’m getting short tempered and wrecked with guilt. But the work can’t stop. I actually find myself missing the early COVID days when things were quiet and I could cook meals for the family and have my daily exercise session.

Pao de Queijo

But I had a restful Sunday for a change and managed to bake some Brazilian cheese puffs. They are really nice fresh out of the oven and very cute too.

Unfortunately the weekend went by too quick and it’s back to the daily grind tomorrow 😔. I really need a holiday but I think a real holiday is very very far away! Thank heavens most of my family is near so I never feel lonely or miss them too much. The kids tire me out but I have to admit, they brighten my life so much and remind me time and again that life is good and I’m very lucky.

Cycle

Papa R’s birthday

We celebrated R’s birthday earlier this month, wow that feels like ages ago, the days have really flown by.

Poor R, because I’ve been sick and haven’t been out except for short stints to the supermarkets, he didn’t get any birthday presents this year! Even his cake was homemade. But I put in a lot of effort ok, it was a tiramisu Mille crepe cake which took ages in front of the stove and required great patience, of which I have none.

Sigh these two. Best friends. So close they need to hold hands during meals 😅. She is thoroughly spoilt by Gung Gung and knows it too.

Work has really been ramping up and I’m working longer and longer hours. Working from home also means I never clock off which is really bad for the kids. I felt so bad yesterday when I had to ask ah ma to pick up Saitaoha because she kept disrupting my meeting. Poor girl was in tears and said ‘but I want to stay with you!’

There’s the mum guilt which is ever present, guilty for tending too much to Saitaomei and neglecting Saitaoha, guilty for being impatient and cross with the both of them because I’m in the middle of work or just exhausted. There’s also daughter guilt, my parents can’t rest when I’m working, they’re not well too so I’m all round making everyone suffer because of my work. I really don’t know whether this is worth it.

As usual the whole household is down with illness. The cycle never ends, and you don’t even know who is patient zero anymore. Last night I even hung an extra set of pjs in the bathroom and put an empty basin next to my bed in case Mei threw up again.

Luckily my dark moments never last long because they are just too cute.

The other day Saitaoha asked me to play with her because ‘I has no one to play with’. I said ‘how about Xiu Xiu (her toy rabbit’?’ She gave me this incredulous look and said ‘but she’s a doll mummy 🙄.’ Oops.

Slump

Aaargh work has been so frustrating lately. I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it’s just not happening. Nothing much I can do but grit my teeth and slog ahead. But now I’m down with this annoying cold which has been in the household for months, so I can’t go to to the office. Worst timing.

It’s the long weekend and I’ve been telling myself to get off my arse and work. But instead we’ve been huddled at home, late meals, late nights and lots of games with the kids. The days just slip away and I still haven’t done any work sigh.

Does anyone hate reading the news lately? All the Covid news is enough, but Trump has truly gone mad and is everything that everyone predicted he would be when he was elected.

I still remember the day he won, we were in the office and glued on the computer reading the news. When it was inevitable that he won, we just slumped back in disbelief. What has the world come to? How can this guy be the leader of the free country? What will this mean for the morals of the world? How can this guy lead the world?

And now we know. 美国沦陷了. I mourn for the world that we used to live in where it wasn’t so difficult to tell between black and white, good and bad. You are told and shown you can bluff and bully your way out of things and there are no repercussions. Humanity is lost and humankind is the worst of all evil. Oh gosh my head hurts.

We really need something to hope and pray for now.