I finally went back to the office today after what feels like weeks of working from home due to illness. I knew it would be a tough day and it really was. I had to keep escaping from the desk to run to the ladies or outside whenever I felt a coughing fit coming. I had to leave a meeting halfway for the same reason. When I returned, it was with streaming eyes, a red nose and raw cheeks.
To make matters worse, my mother messaged me to tell me that Saitaomei was very sick and inconsolable. Late last night as I patted her to sleep and she smiled at me with her fiery red cheeks, I felt so sorry for her, for Saitaoha and for my family in general for having a mother, wife and daughter in such poor health.
At work, I looked at my boss and my colleagues and also felt sorry for them, sorry they are short changed with a colleague that is never present and is so underwhelming in performance. For the past few weeks I’ve been thinking that I should be fired. Who gets sick for so long with no end in sight.
I’ve missed the kids’ dance performances. I’ve missed their sports carnivals, I couldn’t celebrate my mum’s birthday, I won’t be able to take time off during school holidays because I haven’t been present in the office for the past month.
My brother is coming in December but I bet I’ll be sick again and can’t play with my cute nephew, which was the exact same situation last time they came.
I really am at my wits end. I really am so so sick of my sick self.
daitaoha 