My ex colleague has been messaging me very often about work, sometimes involving phone calls too. I haven’t discouraged him because I know what kind of work environment and stress he is under, he needs an outlet, I used to be his outlet and I can’t expect him to switch this off overnight. I know that he would be appalled if he knew how I truly felt about our conversations, which is, I really wish we could stop talking about my previous work, colleagues and environment.
Whilst I am leaving the sector, I’m not leaving my field, so it’s not like I won’t encounter the same issues in my next job. But just for these precious few weeks, I want to try my best to empty my mind from work. I don’t know when I will ever get a chance again, to completely cut myself off from any thoughts or worries about work for a few weeks. I just want to make the most of it. Which is why I was glad when the offer was given to push back my start date by a further week. More time for myself, more time with my family.
The past few weeks have whizzed but so quickly and have been so jam packed with activities, family and more family. It’s been wonderful having my brother and sister in law here, but also frankly a bit tiring because it’s different from our daily routine, and the introvert in me sometimes longs to just shut myself at home for a day just catching up on housework. My ah ma must be even more exhausted.
This little one is getting very clingy because she’s so used to having me around all the time. I feel sad that soon I won’t be around as much again, but I also know that they will adapt very quickly, and they will always feel loved regardless of the less time I will have with them.
I feel so sad that my brother will be leaving soon, when will we see each other again? I feel especially sad for my parents, how sad must they feel, their only son being so far away.
How will I feel when my girls grow up and leave my nest? Same as my parents I guess , happy that they’re independent and strong, happy that they’re happy, but surely with an ache deep in the heart, missing them and wishing they were near so I could see them, be with them and look after them.
The other day my brother was grumbling about my ah pa still treating him like a child and making decisions for him, I laughed and told him he has to let that go because we will always be a child to our parents. After all we are their children! They will always want to take care of us, protect us, and do things that they think are best for us. It might frustrate us sometimes, but our parents are always well intentioned and thinking from their perspective will make us feel better about their actions.
Sigh I miss my brother already.
daitaoha 