Liberation is enjoying a cup of Ah Huat kopi at my mum’s house first thing in the morning and browsing supermarket catalogues.
It’s also being able to tie your daughter’s hair into a ponytail in the morning.
Liberation is being able to drop your kids off at school with your parents. Joy is seeing how much your father and daughter love and adore each other. They are each other’s 开心果.
Liberation is handing in your work pass, your laptop and mobile to the IT department and having a handover session with your boss. Relief is hearing your close colleague wishing you well in your new role, despite knowing it may mean conflicts with him in his current role. Joy is knowing that he is truly happy for me and wishes nothing but the best for me. Sadness is knowing that he is still deeply unhappy with work, and so are the other colleagues I have left behind.
Bemused is how I felt when I saw my boss’s reaction about my new job, he is not happy about the news and couldn’t quite mask his concern. Liberation is feeling that leaving him and the workplace was the best decision for me.
I deleted all photos, apps and personal messages (there were hardly any) from my work phone, changed the wall paper from Saitaoha to a generic one, and switched off my work mobile for the last time.
It was an odd feeling. Silence. Liberation? Even during my holidays, I continued my daily habit of checking my work emails and team chat, but less frequently. A few weeks in, I even left my work mobile at home when went out 🫢 back in the day this would be a major no-no. My daughters also know I have two phones that I keep with me at all time, right next to my bedside even at night.
I will return all my IT equipment and mobile to my workplace tomorrow and will have a long overdue handover session with my ex boss. Before that I will meet my work comrade for the past few years to break the news that I’m going over to the dark side. Well the dark side to him but the light at the end of the tunnel and a new beginning for me. I’m not sure how he will take it, but I have faith that our friendship will remain intact. The return of the work equipment will mark my liberation from my previous workplace I think, I can’t wait!
On Monday I went grocery shopping with my parents after dropping the girls off at school. The supermarket was quiet and it was lovely browsing the aisles without the usual weekend crowd. ‘What a luxury. I am enjoying this so much’ I thought to myself. In the afternoon I cleaned up my wardrobe, I now have bags of clothes headed for the donation bin. Life’s simple pleasures indeed. I am loving my quiet liberation.
My sweet little girl and all her sports carnival badges, her team did really well and they won all their team events. I’m glad that I could stay and watch all her events, also that my sister was there too and my brother and sister in law also visited. It is a memory that will be etched in our hearts forever.
For the past few weeks everytime I attend a school event or walk the girls to school, I always feel bittersweet because I know I won’t be able to do it so frequently in the future once I am back at work, but I also know I should stop worrying and should make the most of it right now. I really should stop worrying about the future and focus on the now😌.
They flew out last night and are having a trying time with cancelled flights and all. It’s such a pain travelling from both ends of the world and doesn’t help that Perth is the most isolated city in the world. Again I was thinking about when would be the next time we meet again, rather than focusing on being in the moment and enjoying our last day together. But I think we still had a nice last day, my favourite being having dimsum and walking around Northbridge, just the adults without the kids, still talking about the kids when they’re not around. It was a moment when us four siblings were together, another memory that we will talk about the next time we gather again.
My girls loved having their jiu jiu and jiu mu around, they will miss them terribly, but they won’t know that their mummy will be missing them more. Three weeks was too short, an eternity is too short when it comes to my family.
I have three more weeks till the first day at work. Many things on my to do list that I have put off to spend time with my brother. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to tick off the most important household and admin tasks, but I also hope the be able to squeeze in some ‘luxurious’ items (things for myself that always seem like a luxury) like swimming, watching a movie (just one!) and catching up with my best friend and sister at Freo.
I’m also looking forward to going on a diet, I have been feeling so bloated and uncomfortable from our over eating, I actually want to feel empty and cleansed for a change !
What I really want is to move on from my past workplace and cleanse my mind off my past job 😆, I think this is an impossible task but I all I can do is to try my best to prepare myself physically and mentally for my next stage in my work life. Whatever happens I will be happy knowing that I’ve given my best and deep down I am ok knowing that I have a supportive husband and family behind me.
Ok enough blabbing it’s time to get ready for swimming and the weekend woo hoo!
My sweet little girl and all her sports carnival badges, her team did really well and they won all their team events. I’m glad that I could stay and watch all her events, also that my sister was there too and my brother and sister in law also visited. It is a memory that will be etched in our hearts forever.
For the past few weeks everytime I attend a school event or walk the girls to school, I always feel bittersweet because I know I won’t be able to do it so frequently in the future once I am back at work, but I also know I should stop worrying and should make the most of it right now. I really should stop worrying about the future and focus on the now😌.
They flew out last night and are having a trying time with cancelled flights and all. It’s such a pain travelling from both ends of the world and doesn’t help that Perth is the most isolated city in the world. Again I was thinking about when would be the next time we meet again, rather than focusing on being in the moment and enjoying our last day together. But I think we still had a nice last day, my favourite being having dimsum and walking around Northbridge, just the adults without the kids, still talking about the kids when they’re not around. It was a moment when us four siblings were together, another memory that we will talk about the next time we gather again.
My girls loved having their jiu jiu and jiu mu around, they will miss them terribly, but they won’t know that their mummy will be missing them more. Three weeks was too short, an eternity is too short when it comes to my family.
I have three more weeks till the first day at work. Many things on my to do list that I have put off to spend time with my brother. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to tick off the most important household and admin tasks, but I also hope the be able to squeeze in some ‘luxurious’ items (things for myself that always seem like a luxury) like swimming, watching a movie (just one!) and catching up with my best friend and sister at Freo.
I’m also looking forward to going on a diet, I have been feeling so bloated and uncomfortable from our over eating, I actually want to feel empty and cleansed for a change !
What I really want is to move on from my past workplace and cleanse my mind off my past job 😆, I think this is an impossible task but I all I can do is to try my best to prepare myself physically and mentally for my next stage in my work life. Whatever happens I will be happy knowing that I’ve given my best and deep down I am ok knowing that I have a supportive husband and family behind me.
Ok enough blabbing it’s time to get ready for swimming and the weekend woo hoo!
My ex colleague has been messaging me very often about work, sometimes involving phone calls too. I haven’t discouraged him because I know what kind of work environment and stress he is under, he needs an outlet, I used to be his outlet and I can’t expect him to switch this off overnight. I know that he would be appalled if he knew how I truly felt about our conversations, which is, I really wish we could stop talking about my previous work, colleagues and environment.
Whilst I am leaving the sector, I’m not leaving my field, so it’s not like I won’t encounter the same issues in my next job. But just for these precious few weeks, I want to try my best to empty my mind from work. I don’t know when I will ever get a chance again, to completely cut myself off from any thoughts or worries about work for a few weeks. I just want to make the most of it. Which is why I was glad when the offer was given to push back my start date by a further week. More time for myself, more time with my family.
The past few weeks have whizzed but so quickly and have been so jam packed with activities, family and more family. It’s been wonderful having my brother and sister in law here, but also frankly a bit tiring because it’s different from our daily routine, and the introvert in me sometimes longs to just shut myself at home for a day just catching up on housework. My ah ma must be even more exhausted.
This little one is getting very clingy because she’s so used to having me around all the time. I feel sad that soon I won’t be around as much again, but I also know that they will adapt very quickly, and they will always feel loved regardless of the less time I will have with them.
I feel so sad that my brother will be leaving soon, when will we see each other again? I feel especially sad for my parents, how sad must they feel, their only son being so far away.
How will I feel when my girls grow up and leave my nest? Same as my parents I guess , happy that they’re independent and strong, happy that they’re happy, but surely with an ache deep in the heart, missing them and wishing they were near so I could see them, be with them and look after them.
The other day my brother was grumbling about my ah pa still treating him like a child and making decisions for him, I laughed and told him he has to let that go because we will always be a child to our parents. After all we are their children! They will always want to take care of us, protect us, and do things that they think are best for us. It might frustrate us sometimes, but our parents are always well intentioned and thinking from their perspective will make us feel better about their actions.
An eventful week, for the first time in six years I was able to attend my kids’ book week parades and also help out in Saitaomei’s class as parent helper. Both kids have been enjoying having mummy pick them up and drop them off at school, Saitaomei was especially happy today that I was in class with her and had a great time introducing me to her classmates.
When I was showering her tonight she said ‘I am so glad that you came to my class today, you are the best mummy!’ 🥲
My brother brought the kids indoor rock climbing, an activity that he and my sil both love. Kids took to it like fish to water, Saitaomei was too small to try but Saitaoha was very enthusiastic.
She is strong, competitive, resilient and doesn’t give up easily. I wish I could be half of her, I’m proud of you Saitaoha.
I worry that the children will feel a sense of loss when I return to work. But I’m making the most of my free time now, not just being with my lovely daughters but also spending time with my parents and family.
I know I will look back at this time and think of it fondly.
I caught up with my old team mates for brunch yesterday! It was really nice catching up and I was reminded of how lucky I was to have such a fabulous team, we were always busy but also very happy and productive. We ended up chatting for over three hours, I was so shocked when I realised it was 1pm especially since I promised the kids I would be back very soon.
Luckily the girls didn’t miss me at all and told me they had fun helping their papa with gardening. In fact Saitaomei asked me this morning whether I found the lawn very nice and neat ‘we helped to clean it up!’
Luckily it was not too late in the day for us to venture into the city.
When we were young, I remember going to places like Kuching Plaza and Sarawak Plaza with my parents and he really enjoying ourselves. I also remember our evening strolls at Kenyalang, borrowing video tapes and buying kuih from the kuih aunties. Sometimes we bought taofufa too. I wonder whether our city weekend outings, the local playground and local shopping forum will be what my kids remember of their childhood.
It’s Monday again but I am relaxed and chilled because there’s no work ! I know that subconsciously I am still thinking about my work because I dream of work and my colleagues at night. I wonder how long it will take for my traumatic work experience of the past few years to fade away. I guess it affected me more than I realised.
The morning was spent walking the kids to school, grocery shopping with ah ma, then lunch and some cooking. I finally managed to hand in the kids’ passport application, phew, at least one horrendous administrative task ticked off till the next five years. I’ve realised that I’m actually terrible at administrative tasks, I’m so disorganised it shouldn’t come as a surprise but sometimes I forget how daitaoha I really am.
I’m hoping I get to go for a swim tomorrow, ahh this holiday is glorious 🥰
How can it be a week already ? The week just flew by so fast I’m in disbelief.
The kids have enjoyed having their Aunty and Uncle around them so much, and I’ve enjoyed picking them up and dropping them at school too.
Its been a whirlwind of not much activity, which is a weird way of describing it, but I feel like we’ve been busy and the day has been jam packed but yet I don’t feel like we’ve actually done anything! I have managed to tick nothing off my to-do list, but yet come home at night feeling tired. But it’s a good kind of tired though, I love it that my brother and sister in law are around. I love hanging out with my kids and parents. It’s really been a great week.
When will they be able to go on be swings together again ? I really wish he wasn’t living so far away. But he’s loving his job, doing so well and my sister in law’s family is in the US, it does feel that the likelihood of us reuniting in the same country is next to nil. Sigh. I know I’m being selfish.
I love our family photo shoot. I’m glad we captured memories that will last a lifetime.
There are so many things that I still want to do with my brother, so many things that I want to cook for them, so many errands that I still need to get done before starting the new job, it’s only been a week but I already feel I’m running out of time. I really need to learn to chill and to live in the moment.
My girls. I love our family shoot photos, not because I look great because I don’t, I look older, larger and gosh all the wrinkles, hunched shoulders … the list goes on. But somehow this time I feel it’s less excruciating and it’s just me, and is. I love how our family looks, I love it that the photos are natural, heartwarming and capture the essence of our family at this moment in time, wrinkles and all.
The children are the most beautiful because they are so young, sweet, cute and lovely.
Ah pa and his granddaughters
I know we will treasure this photo series forever. I miss us already, all of us，our whole family together.
It’s only Monday but already I feel time is going by too quickly. I don’t know how to explain this but there is this sense of security, comfort and warmth that envelops me when we are all together. I feel safe and cocooned as a family. Already I feel like reaching back to hold on to time so that we can be together forever.
I tendered my resignation last night, with my pre approved leave, my last day with government was today.
It was a bittersweet feeling, I felt incredibly sad because I was leaving what I’ve always thought was my dream job for the past 15 years. I believe in the public service and serving the community, and I was always a proud public servant. Who knew I would voluntarily leave one day and jump into the private sector ?
Only time will tell whether it was the right decision but I think I will live with no regrets. I am looking forward to feeling appreciated, rewarded and motivated at work again. Life is too short to be unhappy at work.
I hope the new job allows me better work life balance and let’s me spend more quality time with my family.
I hope this means a better quality of life for all of us too. We were not lacking, but I like the thought of being able to give more to my family especially my parents.
My silly brother and sis in law are in town !
They’re tired out after such a long flight, I hope they get a good rest tonight and enjoy the rest of their holiday here. My parents must be so happy that they’re here, I’m so thrilled and have been looking forward to this day for so long.
They are such a beautiful couple and complement each other so well.
I’ve missed my brother so much. I’m so glad he is here. I think my next few weeks and my long break will be glorious. 🥰
daitaoha 