A rant

The problem with working from home is your home is now your workplace, to me that means I can never clock off work, hence my sending off of a briefing note at 10.30pm! Luckily the girls were good tonight and happy to stay by my side, play with each other, watch videos and eat snacks.

R still isn’t well which is terribly worrying. I’ve never seen him take that long to throw off a cold or flu, but then I also feel like throttling him when I think of him never resting when he should, painting the kids cubby house when the wind was howling, and just generally dismissive of his own illness. He’s so stubborn and freaking set in his principles and beliefs that I feel like nothing but a giant wake up call will shake him up. But I don’t want that wake up call to be Covid-19 or a life threatening illness!

When this is all over, and I pray that this nightmare is over soon, I will find the right time to talk to him properly and point out that as a son, husband and most importantly, a father, sometimes you have to put others over yourself. It’s not just about you being sick, it means the kids get sick, your parents, my parents get sick, and they are way more vulnerable compared to your ‘I can will myself out of this illness’ self. You have responsibilities now that are beyond just you, don’t regret this nonchalant attitude when it’s all too late.

Gosh I can’t wait for life to get back to normal. It’s only been a couple of weeks or not even that at best, but I’m already mourning our past life. I’ve never been much of a social butterfly, but I mostly miss bringing the kids out, I wish the girls could go to school, which truly is the best environment for them to thrive and grow. I wish I didn’t worry every time R coughs, I wish I didn’t feel like I’m endangering my parents every time I step into their house or entrust the kids to them. I miss going for walks with my sister during lunch hours. I miss the interaction at work, I think I get more work done at home beside there is a lot less chit chat, but the chit chat and camaraderie also forms the best policies and ideas.

And there’s more months of this to go? At the end of the day I will do whatever it takes to keep the family safe and healthy, but I really feel tired and sad about 2020 and the world that we have become.

Working from home for good

Tomorrow I have officially declared myself to be working from home for good until told otherwise. The organisation’s communication is a bit stuffed up, in their eagerness to keep everyone informed, they forgot that whilst everyone is worried about what happens when they get Covid, the majority are more concerned about what they can do to NOT get Covid. During time did crises, organisations need to step up to be more flexible and adapt. Unfortunately my sector has always been notoriously bad at that and it’s really telling right now.

I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure and stress about going to work. Everyday it’s like an internal debate, go in or don’t go in. Take the risk or don’t take the risk. Be responsible to work or be responsible to family? At the end of the day, I think by working from home I can be responsible to both.

The weeks and months to come will be interesting and very challenging. I feel like we’re going to war with an unknown enemy. We are so ill equipped and yet I am strangely comforted that at least I’m with my family and my loved ones. We will back each other up and support each other during this time of need. I know it and I trust that we will survive this.

Working from home Day 3

Saitaomei enjoying Gung Gung’s cut fruit for afternoon tea

The doting grandparents bought the lucky kids a playground set

She likes me to watch her play.

Gung Gung’s pretty rose bush.

Saitaoha at 4 years one month.

Don’t grow up so fast.

Working from home means spending more time with the kids and family.

It means I get to watch her play on her new playground set. Take pictures of her. I haven’t taken pictures of them in a long time.

Being sick is a pain. Being away from the office has its inconveniences. But working from home definitely had its perks.

The world goes on

Ah ma says the above are the same photo which is true. But it’s also true that Perth has always been a quiet and isolated city even before Covid 19 and social distancing.

Covid 19 has been so disruptive, I can imagine those with anxiety issues must be suffering greatly from the fear and upheaval this uncertain time has brought. R has a bad cold and has been off work for most of the week, very unusual for him but I’m mostly glad he’s home and resting. I felt myself going downhill mid week and worked from home from Thursday. I’m feeling mostly fine but it’s the onslaught of a mild virus and I know I will be very unwelcome in this current climate.

Bak kut teh, minced pork patties, Peking pork fillet, stir fried sweet potato leaves and mixed veg.

It was nice working from home and spending time with the kids and husband. I realised that it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down to have dinner with them. Work has been so busy that dinner consisted of heating up a couple of dishes for R, a quick shake for me and running household chores until bedtime. We have even been missing our frequent evening supermarket trips because I just come home too late.

I forgot how nice it is to teach Saitaoha how to count and write. To read books to the girls. To watch Gogglebox and news with the husband. I even managed to get some work down in between and had a teleconference locked in my bedroom in case the kids barged in.

My parents bought a playground set for the kids which came just in time because this whole social distancing thing means no playgrounds or much outdoor activities for them.

So far they aren’t too fussed or aware of Covid 19 except Saitaoha is missing school and her friends and her cousins. I’m thinking she should go back but the risk to my parents who have to fetch her back and forth, I’m not sure I can risk it ?

Everyday Saitaoha asks me ‘mummy after wake up what’s next? After breakfast what’s next? After play what’s next? After nap what’s next?’

She is missing her cousins badly and asks me everyday whether LG or Tristan are coming. I let her video call Tristan but she cried when her yee yee said they couldn’t come over 😭. I felt my heart ache for her and truly hated the whole virus and the world we live in at the moment.

Ok enough writing, I have to bring the kids out for a walk before they perish from boredom.

Because I love her

Saitaomei had a crying bout, she finally stops and lies on me with a sad face.

Saitaoha comes over and starts patting her sister and stroking her back.

Why are you patting mei mei? I ask.

‘Because she is sad and because I love her’. Saitaoha replies.

❤️🧡💛💚💙

My sister in law had a baby girl! So cute and small and squishy. I miss them when their tiny, but I don’t miss the insecurities and anxiety of being a new mom.

Saitaomei small and cuddly

Saitaoha small and cuddly

Saitaoha not yet one month old

Sigh I miss my cuddly kiddos.

The crazy world we live in

What a crazy 2020 it’s been. Whole of Australia burning. Coronavirus. The world had been whipped up into a frenzy, everyone is on edge and it feels like it takes nothing to push us into panic mode. I felt this end of the world-apocalypse community fear when we were heading home after CNY at the airport. People not really talking, everyone covered with masks, no smiles, no eye contact. It felt a scene from the movies and we are the main actors in the apocalypse movie right now.

Going to the supermarket is a revelation of how crazy people can get when fear grips you. Women with easily 40 tins of baked beans and spaghetti and piled high trolleys strolled past me. She’s going to get sick of baked beans pretty soon, I think to myself.

Most of all, I worry for the elderly, the young and the sick. They are the most vulnerable at times like these. I just hope they come out unscathed. I hope my kids won’t remember this time of fear when they grow up.

Mummy stop taking photos!

Working from home

It’s been a while since I’ve worked from home. I forgot how nice it is to not have to rush to get ready for work, get the girls ready to go to GGMM’s and then rush to get on the next bus or train.

It’s nice working at the dining table and being distracted every now and then by the cute Saitaomei who stops by for a kiss or to show me her toy.

It’s nice being able to actually sit down and type something out without having a colleague coming by to chat with me or going from meeting to meeting.

It’s nice being able to cook a fresh lunch for the kids and the husband and also run the laundry.

Sigh all sorts of niceness about working from home but sadly I don’t see another working from home day in the near future. I was so surprised on Thursday when I checked my calendar and there were no meetings scheduled. ‘How can it be I have no meetings tomorrow?’ I wondered aloud. My lovely teammate then piped up and told me she had purposely tried to keep my Friday free so I could work from home.

‘Please work from home because I don’t think this can happen again in the next couple of months!’ she pleaded. Thank heavens for supportive teammates.

So yes, I’m enjoying my last working from home day whilst I can. Mei mei is riding on my legs as I speak, life is bliss 🙂

Saitaoha’s four years old birthday weekend

Saitaoha is 4

My little girl turned four last week. I had all these plans for celebrating her birthday but she surprised me by saying she only wanted to invite her cousins to her ‘party’. She has friends at school but her favourite people are really her cousins.

Saitaoha birthday cake celebration

Just as well she didn’t ask for a big party because it’s been so busy at work I wouldn’t have been able to organise one properly. As it was I picked up the cake halfway through meetings at work, and only made it home after 6pm to celebrate her birthday with her :(. Luckily Saitaoha is a little girl that is easy to please so she was still very happy with her simple celebration. I didn’t even have time to buy her a birthday present and her yee yee even has to help me buy her frozen dress (the only thing she’s asked for).

Saitaomei happily clapping to birthday song

Ms foodie

Saitaomei enjoyed the birthday celebration a lot, Ms Tamchiak had seconds of the cake!

LG and Saitaoha

The next day Saitaoha spent the afternoon and night at LG’s home. She was so excited about going over that she bugged me all morning asking when we were going. Totally drove me nuts but I’m glad she had a lovely time.

Then on Sunday we went to the indoor playground as a birthday treat with her cousins. She really enjoyed herself but was so sad when we left because she was wondering how come we didn’t have a birthday cake cutting session. Oops mummy fail here.

I think she is already counting down to her next birthday and has been asking me whose birthday is next. I can’t believe four years have passed by in a blink, it feels like so much has happened and changed since then. I still have a long way to go to becoming a better mummy, but I hope I haven’t done too badly so far. Saitaoha is a bright, sweet and affectionate little princess, I hope she continues growing up this way, always surrounded by love, security and warmth. I love you Saitaoha, happy 4th birthday.