Daitaoha earns a living

I’ve been working rather long hours, coming home late and picking the kids up late. It’s always a gut wrenching moment for me when I hear the excited cries of ‘Mummy! Mummy!’ from behind the door when the girls realise that I’ve arrived to pick them up.

My ah ma is undergoing some health problems and is in pain as well. My heart aches when I see her tired face and I feel so bad that she still has to take care of my kids even though she’s not feeling well. I wish I could take time off from work but it’s a crucial period at work, I can barely clock off on time let alone take leave.

Achieving work life balance feels impossible at this stage. It’s Saitaoha’s birthday tomorrow and I haven’t had time to get her a birthday present let alone plan a party for her. We will be having a simple birthday gathering with family and I will cook her chicken soup and sua mee for lunch. I tell myself that this focus at work is worthwhile, it’s what I need to build the next stage of my career. My job has had to take a back seat for the past four years and now I’m trying to get back into the career ladder again.

What is a career and is it worth this sacrifice and the sacrifice of my parents? I’m really not sure. I don’t really care for the kudos at this stage, but I must say I want to earn more money. R says he’s pretty happy where we are now, but I want more. I don’t have the need for luxury goods or fast cars, but I would like to be in a place where I feel I can comfortably provide for my parents and my kids in the future. I want to buy first class tickets for my parents to visit my brother without blinking an eye, I would like to renovate their home or build a new one so it’s more comfortable and safe. So many wants. So many needs.

The next few months will be gruelling and I think I won’t get to see much of my family. I really hope I won’t regret this and my hard work pays off.

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