Silver lining

It’s been a long week, Saitaomei being sick, Saitaoha starting her first full week in kindy and us adults returning to work after the holidays.

I was glad that R and I were both available to accompany Saitaoha for her school’s 10th anniversary celebration. They had bouncy castles and water slides in the morning, how fun! I’ve been worried about Saitaoha because she hasn’t been eating, peeing or drinking water at school! Her lunch boxes and water bottles come back untouched, I think it’s the case is being unfamiliar about eating lunch at school and also shy about asking her teachers for help. Well, I mentioned it to her teacher yesterday so hopefully they will look out for her and she will slowly adapt. She also told us that there’s a boy that hits her, I haven’t noticed any marks yet, but also mentioned it to her teacher and told Saitaoha she has to tell her teacher straightaway if it happens again. I put it down to boys being boys and thinking it’s all play, but still, I need to protect my child and also teach her to protect herself.

Whilst I was admonishing Saitaoha for not eating her lunch, I said ‘you have to learn to eat your lunch yourself Saitaoha, you’re not a kid anymore!’ She wouldn’t haven’t any of my nonsense and exclaimed tearfully ‘but I want to still be a kid!’ R and I exchanged wry grins and I was put to shame immediately. I must remember that being the older kid in the family doesn’t mean Saitaoha is less of a kid and doesn’t require the same amount of nurturing and care. It’s so unfair of me to expect her to be the grown up when she’s still a mere child, I keep expecting so much from her and it’s just wrong.

My child will be turning 4 in two weeks and I plan to celebrate her thoroughly and spoil her to bits.

This now skinny little thing is finally on the mend! Her appetite is slowly returning and I’m hoping her cheerful nature too. She’s become short tempered, sensitive and clingy since the holiday, I think it’s the aftermath of the separation anxiety of the holiday plus a mixture of illness and terrible twos. I miss her smiles and laughter which we see less of these days. But I see glimpses of it so I hope the rest of the year goes better for her.

The work week was a lot better than I anticipated it to be. The team dynamics have changed so much and we truly feel like a team now which is so essential considering the challenging nature of our task ahead. I feel more optimistic after this week and whatever happens, I finally feel we will get through it together as a team.

Yesterday felt like a breather for the first time this week. Saitaomei stopped her fevers and hourly bouts of diarrhoea, she was happy when we brought her out for a supermarket run, it felt normal for a change.

I felt good cooking dinner for the family. Saitaoha asked ‘mummy why is there a MOUNTAIN of vegetables? Why is it like a mountain?’ She proceeded to help demolish the mountain and it became more of a hill, that’s what happens when you don’t eat lunch at school, you make up for it during dinner. After self feeding herself dinner she asked me ‘are you happy now?’ This Saitaoha is always eager to please and likes making others happy, she reminds me of myself and I can’t say it doesn’t worry me.

It was a good understated Valentine’s Day with not much fanfare.

We will be going out to celebrate Valentines’s tonight though! R surprised me a couple of weeks back by telling me he had booked our favourite restaurant for dinner and asked whether my parents could look after the kid that night. We are looking forward to a date night and some good food and wine.

The silver lining behind the clouds is finally shining and god I’m glad it’s arrived.

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February 2020



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