Are you happy or sad or angry?

Lately Saitaoha has been getting into the habit of asking us whether we are happy or sad to gauge our mood. At first it was quite funny and very effective in getting us to stop being angry (when she knows she’s in trouble) but now she’s repeating it so much that I’m started to get worried that we are horrible parents that are always getting angry at her, hence her need to keep gauging our moods.

It usually goes like this:

Saitaoha does something naughty like refusing to nap or not sharing with mei mei.

Saitaoha: Mummy, are you happy or sad or angry?

Mummy: I am sad because you didn’t share with mei mei.

Saitaoha: Mummy can you be happy please? Pleease…. mummy, can you say it’s ok??

Mummy: (looks at her pleading eyes) ok ok I’m happy.

Sometimes the tables are turned and she comes running to us

Saitaoha: Mummy mummy ! Can you ask me whether I’m happy or sad ??

Mummy: Er ok, are you happy or sad?

Saitaoha: I am sad because mei mei took my biscuit!

Today I spent the whole day working on my laptop, only stopping to feed and bathe the kids, plus read them storybooks and play a little.

Saitaoha: Mummy can you ask me whether I’m happy or sad?

Mummy: Saitaoha, are you happy or sad?

Saitaoha: I am sad because mummy is too busy to play with me.

(Cue my heart shattering into a million pieces)

Mummy: I am sorry Saitaoha, mummy needs to work but I will play with you in a little while ok?

Saitaoha: ok mummy! Mummy are you happy or sad or angry?

Mummy: Mummy is sad because mummy has to work and can’t play with you and mei mei.

Saitaoha: Don’t worry Mummy, you can play with Saitaoha and mei mei later. Don’t be sad mummy, you can be happy later ok?

****

It’s absolutely humbling to have your daughter to remind you everyday not to be sad and angry , and that you can be happy later.

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