Archive for June 17th, 2019

Motherhood

Having a sick kid at home never fails to make me a little blue and contemplate how mum life can be tough sometimes.

I constantly feel like I’m failing at all fronts, not being able to be 💯 committed at work, yet not having enough time to look after the kids, look after myself and maintain a clean, neat and healthy household. The chores feel endless and the house is in a constant mess. I want to find time to exercise and feel more confident about myself, but even as I attended my lash extension appointment yesterday, I was struck by how frivolous this time was spent and how I should really be at home tending to my sick child.

I remember a day last year when I had returned to my house to find the front door wide open. As I stumbled in and surveyed the chaos in the living room, I thought ‘omg there was a break in’. Then I realised nothing was stolen, in my newborn sleepless daze, I had forgotten to lock OR shut the door when I left the house, the mess was just the aftermath of two kids in the house 😓, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Last night, cleaning up after a pitiful Saitaomei who coughed so much that she puked during the wee hours of the morning reminded me of her sleepless newborn days. Even as I’m travelling on the bus after dropping off my two miserable kittens at my Ah ma’s, I feel like I’m going nuts because I keep smelling whiffs of puke 🤮 . Am I just imagining it?

Last week I attended a diversity meeting at work which I volunteered for. We discussed setting aside one of the meeting rooms as a nursing room for breastfeeding mums. One of the male executives offered up the bar fridge in his office for milk storage 😬. Oh how I wished they had this in place last year when I was still breastfeeding, I had pumped and pumped to built up my storage so mei mei could have BM when I returned to work..

I have a lot of young female colleagues who are pregnant. While I wish I could tell them that working life after being a mother is great, I probably will tell them the truth, that it is a constant struggle to balance mum life and work life. You’re expected to perform at your pre mum standard, the working hours don’t change and if they do, you may be judged unfairly and shortchanged of promotion opportunities or given unimportant tasks because you’re the mum who has to leave work early to pick up your kid from school.

I really think the only way the tide can change is if there’s enough of us who have been there to get to higher executive positions to implement the change from above. But hey there’s that glass ceiling to break too.

In the meantime I will be a source of support for my younger colleagues and make hopefully helpful suggestions in our diversity group, at least I can be part of the team that is making life a teeny bit easier for FTWMs.

And that’s my rant for the start of the work week. I hope it goes better for our family and everyone soon!

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