Archive for April 13th, 2018

Till we meet again

My body is failing me, last night I kept waking up partly from Saitaoha’s crying (poor kid is still unwell, vomiting has stopped but diarrhoea continues) and mostly from a very bad back pain. I have no idea where the back pain morphed from but I couldn’t help groaning out loud everytime I moved.

Saitaoha had a meltdown in the morning and cried herself to sleep. So we didn’t go for lunch with my brother and the rest of the family, but they dropped by with some dumplings for us ❤️. My brother msged me afterwards to ask whether Saitaoha would like to go to the playground. I know he was trying to spend as much time as possible with his nieces and nephew.

We all went to our neighbourhood playground which is a really nice one. My brother was teaching Tristan how to throw a boomerang. I wish he lived in Perth, we all impart different skills and knowledge to our kids, my brother has a great scientific mind and used to conduct lots of science experiments as a kid. I would love him to teach my kids about science, engines and machines, my little brain can’t wrap my head around mechanics like that.

Playing with Saitaoha and Tristan.

The kids had lots of fun but the day still felt very sad.

My brother admits that he’s partial towards Saitaomei, he loves babies and just finds her adorable. When we said our goodbyes tonight, he asked to hug Saitaomei one more time, kissed her forehead and said ‘I’m really going to miss this one’. By that time I was already 😭😭😭. They will be so big when he next sees them. He made me promise to send him lots of videos and photos of Saitaomei so he could see her growing up.

Ah pa and my brother sitting on the bench my brother bought for my parents. I think he likes the idea of them sitting on the front porch together, watching the grandkids play in the garden.

Goodbye my little brother, safe travels. I hope you come back to visit us soon, and perhaps one day stay forever. I hate the thought of you being lonely in the US, but I am comforted that you have your lovely wife with you, and your God too.


Today ah pa commented that Saitaoha is no longer close to him and seems to prefer my BIL. ‘Do you think it’s because she sees me carrying Saitaomei all the time?’ he asked worriedly. I didn’t know what to say but I felt sad that Saitaoha had inadvertently hurt my ah pa with her actions. Sometimes I wish little kids would never grow up, they are so innocent, sweet and affectionate when they are young. It’s when they’re older that their personalities roll in, tantrums and bickering occur, their needs and wants become more complex, they no longer need your help and want to assert their independence.

I’m thankful that I have this little one to stay my baby for a little while longer. My parents worry that she might suffer from second child syndrome and be the forgotten one. It’s true that we do a lot less with Saitaomei, but I don’t think it’s from lack of love, rather a lack of time. I do love you as much munchkin.

April 2018
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