Archive for March 28th, 2018

Can I hit the restart button?

I thought I would spend my maternity leave having quality time with Saitaoha and Saitaomei. Instead I have been spending all my time dealing with Saitaoha’s terrible two tantrums. She throws a tanty at least once or twice a day and is just impossible. Most of the time she works herself up into this sobbing, shrieking mess and doesn’t even remember why she got upset in the first place.

Even though I don’t know whether any of this gets through to her, I’ve been putting her in the naughty corner, telling her I would come back when she’s stopped crying and has calmed down. It’s difficult to stay consistent because sometimes when she’s stopped, the sight of me sets her off again! Then it’s mummy mummy mummy…

When the tantrum is over, I speak to her firmly and tell her that crying won’t get her anything and she needs to ask properly. Who knows whether she understands? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I look at old photos and videos of Saitaoha and miss the little girl who although cheeky, was mostly a very cheerful and lovable little girl. Now she is just no!no!no!, cries when she wakes up, cries when she sleeps, cries and moans at everything ! It really makes me question my parenting methods.

Today there was another massive meltdown. It ended up with gung gung getting frustrated and angry. Mah mah was trying to save Saitaoha from my wrath but I still ended up carrying the wailing kid out of their house and straight home. I was really fed up that not only are her tantrums upsetting me, they are causing my parents to get upset and angsty with each other. Sometimes when I see my parents squabble. (99% to do with the kids) I feel terrible and horribly selfish. I doubt they would squabble if not for the grandkids. They’ve already had to raise four kids of their own, and I’m putting them through this again?!

I also feel sad that I’m blinded by Saitaoha’s attention seeking tantrums and not paying much attention to poor Saitaomei. Then there was a moment where ah Ma was singing ‘if you’re happy and you know it’ to Saitaomei in the car. Saitaoha was next to her and doing all the actions to the song. I saw her glance at Mah Mah and look resigned that no one was paying her any attention. My heart broke a little.

Saitaoha trying to open the freezer 😂. She knows the aiji is kept there. Oh my funny girl.

Oh hai my sweetie. I miss her.

She really likes sitting on bean bags.

Sigh I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day. Just restart and reboot again.

March 2018