Hope

My brother will be flying to Perth in a couple of weeks. It’s been over a year since we last saw each other. Today ah Ma said ‘Do you think your brother will look at you and ask how come you are always so angry and short tempered nowadays?’

😭😭😭. To be honest when I heard the first part of her question I thought it was going to end with ‘…how come you have let yourself go and are so frumpy nowadays?’

But it made me sad to think that my brother might be shocked to see the drastic change in me, from calm and boring Daitaoha to angry mummy Daitaoha. Why have I become this angry person that I don’t even recognise anymore? Sometimes I feel so angry with R and Saitaoha that I don’t even want to speak to them. I don’t feel like I know how to control my temper or emotions any more.

I know the stressful period at work, followed by a stressful pregnancy, and subsequently juggling two kids has had its toll on me. But I have help? And great help in terms of my parents too!

Dinner tonight was just dapao-ing this great kongpow chicken that ah Ma cooked. I have it easy don’t I?

2018 has been pretty crappy so far and an emotional roller coaster. I definitely feel loads better after my holiday, but I am still not my old self. Hopefully I’ll get there someday, hopefully my brother will still recognise a bit of the old Daitaoha when he comes.

Saitaoha tucking her teddy to bed. She seems to have inherited my love for soft toys.

Napped pretty quickly, poor girl is tired out from her illness.

This little girl is still holding up. She’s a sweetie pie when she’s not crying.

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5 Responses to “Hope”


  1. 1 Tspellstrouble March 20, 2018 at 6:32 am

    Maybe you should buy one of those affirmation books and read one for each day. They have one at work and it is helping! Haha I start the day more positively. Also maybe at the end of each day, when you feel stressed and angry, just take 5-10 mins away from the kids and reflect on one good thing that happened that day. Maybe you should also start doing the things that make you feel happy like gardening, watching dramas just for half an hour or sthing. I find that burning essential oils help me relax and sleep better. Let me know if you want some. Just give a shout when you need help! Uberhelp is just a drive away.

  2. 5 Tspellstrouble March 20, 2018 at 6:32 am

    Haha always the most angelic when they are sleeping! When they wake up, different story!


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