Archive for March 19th, 2018

Hope

My brother will be flying to Perth in a couple of weeks. It’s been over a year since we last saw each other. Today ah Ma said ‘Do you think your brother will look at you and ask how come you are always so angry and short tempered nowadays?’

😭😭😭. To be honest when I heard the first part of her question I thought it was going to end with ‘…how come you have let yourself go and are so frumpy nowadays?’

But it made me sad to think that my brother might be shocked to see the drastic change in me, from calm and boring Daitaoha to angry mummy Daitaoha. Why have I become this angry person that I don’t even recognise anymore? Sometimes I feel so angry with R and Saitaoha that I don’t even want to speak to them. I don’t feel like I know how to control my temper or emotions any more.

I know the stressful period at work, followed by a stressful pregnancy, and subsequently juggling two kids has had its toll on me. But I have help? And great help in terms of my parents too!

Dinner tonight was just dapao-ing this great kongpow chicken that ah Ma cooked. I have it easy don’t I?

2018 has been pretty crappy so far and an emotional roller coaster. I definitely feel loads better after my holiday, but I am still not my old self. Hopefully I’ll get there someday, hopefully my brother will still recognise a bit of the old Daitaoha when he comes.

Saitaoha tucking her teddy to bed. She seems to have inherited my love for soft toys.

Napped pretty quickly, poor girl is tired out from her illness.

This little girl is still holding up. She’s a sweetie pie when she’s not crying.


March 2018
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