Archive for March 16th, 2018

Ruptured ligament

My to-do list from yesterday’s post? Didn’t even manage to tick off a single one! So babies are not winter ready and Saitaomei is bursting out of her clothes 😓. Sigh, maybe I will get round to it tomorrow.

Instead R and I spent the day on bank errands and an unscheduled medical appointment. My ultrasound and X-ray results are back. I didn’t break any bones, but I managed to completely rupture a ligament. SIGH. I knew it was a particularly bad fall but it still really sucks to get the results. The worse part is they found a cyst (probably due to the acute trauma from the fall) and now want me to go for an MRI to rule out cancer ?! I think the medical staff here might be overly cautious but R told me to just get a scan to get a diagnosis. So more scans and doctor appointments await. Can I just say SIGH 😔

The doctor told me that my ruptured ligament can’t be fixed unless by surgery. He said it wouldn’t affect my day to day mobility though and wouldn’t recommend surgery unless I’m a competitive athlete (I tried not to scoff when he said that).

I wasn’t especially upset when I heard the bad news. Maybe it was because R was next to me and he’s the very practical sort who will move on to solutions rather than make sympathetic noises that would make me feel sorry for myself and reduce me to mush (to be honest sometimes I wish he was more expressive and emotional, but this stoid nature of his comes in good stead during medical emergencies).

Now that I’ve had time to ponder, it does feel rather depressing that there’s something broken in my body that can’t heal on its own. It may take up to 6 to 12 months for my mobility to return to normal (or as normal as it can be). Now that hurts. I really hate not being able to do physical stuff like bending down to wipe floors, or give the babies a bath. I also can’t stand on my feet for long without feeling sore and have resorted to sitting down and cutting vegetables during kitchen prep. I have to think twice about where I sit, or walk, because it might not be easy to get up, steep slopes or uneven pathways are difficult. I can’t really carry the babies for long, I’m slow, I can’t run after the active Saitaoha. I can’t help my parents do housework or mop the floors. My ankle feels like it’s going to give away sometimes and I’m so unbalanced it’s not funny.

I took all the above and more for granted.

I wanted to write this down because when this is all over (surely my luck has to turn soon ?) I would like to read this post to remind me that I survived this rough patch.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The weakness in my feet can only be overcome by the strength of my spirit. So I will 加油啦!

March 2018