Angry mummy

The calm after the storm.

Saitaoha in a contemplative mood after a terrible two tantrum of epic proportion. What was the trigger? She struggled to open her water bottle. Yep. That was it, cue a storm of tears and demanding of milk. I knew she didn’t need or want the milk, asking for milk is her go to comfort action, similar to her dummy or Xiu Xiu. I still made the milk anyway, to have her reject it with a toss of her tear streaked head.

It brought out the red eyed monster in me. The one that snaps and loses her temper and snarls at her 2 year old who really just needed a nap after a really bad night. Sometimes I feel that motherhood has morphed me into someone so alien and unpalatable. I am impatient, I get irrationally angry, I can’t control my temper at all. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. What kind of horrible mother am I?

Some days I think I can do this. Today I stared at my Saitaoha who lay quietly in her cot and stared back at me with her round, doleful eyes, eyelashes still wet from the earlier crying fit. I silently told her that I was sorry in my heart, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Some days I think I can do this. Today my feet hurt, my head hurts and my heart aches.

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5 Responses to “Angry mummy”


  1. 1 etangy March 11, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    Hugs mama, some days they really push our patience to the limits, don’t be too hard on yourself!! Restart button after her nap, hope you get some rest too!

  2. 3 Lang March 11, 2018 at 5:22 pm

    I think I’ve yelled a bit too much this week also but damn do they know how to push our buttons.. I’m sure we’re all doing a great job. x

  3. 5 5feetfive March 12, 2018 at 3:57 am

    It’s a really tough age.. the kids have a mind of their own but are not mature enough to listen to reason.. bon courage (加油)! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼


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