My gung gung passed away today. I want to write down my memories of him somewhere so I will never forget him. But today is not the day.
I didn’t want to write about his passing on dayre, or Facebook, because it makes me feel as if I’m just seeking attention or sympathy from people who don’t know him, or know me at all. So I chose my forgotten blog whom no one reads because this is for me.
I was prepared for this, after all, he has been suffering and ailing for so many years. He is at peace now and my parents made sure he had a comfortable last few years surrounded by his most filial and loving son and daughter in law, my ah pa and ah ma. I am sad that I won’t be able to attend his funeral and that I didn’t get to say goodbye. But I am also at peace in my heart because I know that I tried to spend time with my gung gung every time I was home, whether it was just sitting in the porch with them in the evenings, trimming his nose hair, feeding him lunch or biscuits. I treasure those last few moments with him. I think he recognised me, even though he didn’t say much. Maybe all he needed to know was that one of his grandchildren was home, and that we still care for and love him.
Even though I’m glad his suffering is over, I am still heartbroken. I didn’t realise how much I loved my gung gung until he was dying.
Thank you gung gung. I will miss you.